November 4, 1972

The whole subconscient is ... (gesture of something rising up en

 masse).

(silence)

And then ... how can I put this? ... It isn't sensation or knowledge, it's a kind of ... (Mother feels the air between her fingers), you can't even say conviction: it's a certitude - a certitude in the perception - that Bliss is there ... right there, WAITING FOR us, but a whole world of contradictions that have been repressed in the subconscient keeps rising up from the subconscient to prevent us from feeling it. So ... you could say it's a battlefield, but in a perfect calm.

It's impossible to describe.

Impossible to describe.

When I remain still and enter that Consciousness, time flies with fantastic speed, in a kind of ... luminous calm. But the slightest thing that pulls me out of it seems to pull me into hell. Exactly.

The discomfort is so great one feels one couldn't last a minute or a few minutes like that. So one ... one calls the Divine.... You feel like curling up in the Divine.

And then it goes well.

(Mother plunges in

 but after a while she seems ill at ease)

Page 308