August 5, 1972

People know I don't eat anymore, so they've stopped sending anything.

I've got all I need!

Page 258

---

Yet I didn't tell anyone! I wonder how they came to know.

I've got all I need, Mother!

Really? ... I don't want you to get thin! (laughter)

There are some interesting things....

(silence)

What about you? What do you have to say?

No, Mother, nothing. What are the interesting things?

(after a long, smiling silence)

I see certain things, certain events, certain patterns of wills ... I see them coming like this (gesture of a screen), I see them very powerfully and distinctly. And at the same time the sense that: this is how it will be with the Supramental.

But it's difficult to describe.

You can't describe it - it's a STATE of consciousness. It's a state of consciousness, together with the knowledge that that state will be part of the Supramental.

And all this happens within a VERY profound silence. So I can't express it.

(long silence
Mother touches her hands)

It's like vibrations coming out of my hands, like this (gesture). My hands seem so powerful! They feel they can change things just by doing this (Mother makes a fist).

But I would rather you asked me questions or told me something, because ... otherwise I instantly enter that state which is so, so vast ... peaceful ... and so powerful - where things are accomplished.

That's how they are accomplished.

But there are no words or explanations - nothing satisfying for the mind.

(silence)

You don't have anything to say?

Page 259

---

I am still looking for the key to infusing that Power I feet, that

Force, that Truth into everyday physical activity. I find it quite

 difficult.... Yet when I stop all activity, the contact is instantly

 made, and very powerful and REAL it is, but the minute I go

 back to being active, everything recedes into the background ...

Aah! ...

Personally I am not engaged in activity.

Matter seems to feel it as something imposed, not coming from

 within; it isn't natural (in my case, at least).

But I now feel just the opposite! The body and matter (the part of matter under my control) seem to REFUSE to obey anything but That.

Let me give you an example: I see almost ... (it's an "almost" which sometimes is beyond almost, you understand: the extreme limit of "almost") almost as well with my eyes closed as with my eyes open. See, really SEE (Mother touches her physical eyes). When I have difficulty writing, for example, instead of peering and straining, I shut my eyes. And then ... I see.

And the same for everything, for all the senses. To swallow food, if I try to swallow in the usual way, I literally choke, but when I am in a certain state ... I find I've swallowed everything, and I didn't even notice it! And everything is like that.

So ... I seem completely impotent, yet I feel a tremendous power in me.

(Mother plunges in for 40 minutes,

 then opens her eyes

 and speaks in English)

It can go on for hours....

Page 260