ISBN 2-902776-33-0
(Regarding a disciple who is following a Tantric discipline:)
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... "He" has completely stupefied him. He has to do six to seven hours of japa a day.
From a certain point of view, it's good, because W has never been able to see anything through to the end, it's the first time he has persevered. From that point of view, it's good for his character. But still, I found the amount fantastic! He has to do three lakhs of this, four lakhs[[One lakh = 100,000. ]] of that, some six or seven hours of recitation a day.... It's a lot. And then you have to remain sitting in the same position all the time - he should at least be allowed to do it walking.
Yes, there was a time when I was doing it five to six hours a day.
But did it have an effect on your self-control?
I don't know.
Neither do I!
I don't know what is the fruit of the japa and what is simply the fruit of a sedimentation: I can't tell. I know that when I am doing my japa, there is a rather concentrated force, but I don't know if that comes from the japa or, quite simply, from the fact that I concentrate. I can't tell.
Oh, you mean the words of the japa - those words have only the power given by the generations that have repeated them.
(silence)
There is ONE sound which, to me, has an extraordinary power - extraordinary and UNIVERSAL (that's the important point): it doesn't depend on the language you speak, it doesn't depend on the education you were given, it doesn't depend on the atmosphere you breathe. And that sound, without knowing anything, I used to say it when I was a child (you know how in French we say, "Oh!"; well, I used to say "OM," without knowing anything!). And indeed, I made all kinds of experiments with that sound - it's fantastic, even, fantastic! It's unbelievable.
So then, if around this you build something that corresponds to your own aspiration - certain sounds or words that FOR YOU evoke a soul state - then it's very good.
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All that is traditional benefits from the power of tradition, that goes without saying, but it's necessarily very limited - personally, it gives me the feeling of something shriveled and withered, as if all the juice it could contain had been squeezed out (!) Except if, spontaneously, the sounds correspond to a soul state in you.
I have noticed that this japa automatically triggered the physical mind into a great activity.
The physical mind!
Yes, that is to say, when I begin the japa, I am assailed by a number of material questions, tiny little material things that happened during the day and come back. Uninteresting things. The japa seems to act on that mind, on that bit of physical mind.
Yes, it WANTS to act there. That's why its action is stupefying - it is meant to stupefy that mind. But there are people who can't be stupefied, mon petit! ... It's very good for average humanity, it can help average humanity, but on those who have an intellectuality, it cannot act.
(Here, Mother makes various remarks
about the Tantric guru and describes
certain things she saw about him:)
... It comes with images, it's a sort of perception like a motion picture....
(Then she goes on:)
... There is a whole part of the most material consciousness, the utterly physical consciousness (precisely the one that participates in incalculable, minuscule activity of every day) which, of course, is very hard to bear. In ordinary life, it's tolerable, it's bearable because you take interest in it and sometimes pleasure - all that life on the surface that makes you ... you see a pretty thing, it gives you pleasure; you have something tasty in your mouth, it gives you pleasure; anyway, all these little pleasures that are so futile, but help people bear existence. Those who don't have the inner consciousness and the contact with what's behind all that wouldn't be able to live if they didn't have little pleasures. So a host of tiny little problems crop up, problems of material existence, which explain perfectly well that those who no longer had
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any desire, and therefore no longer took any pleasure in anything, had one single idea: "What's the use of it all!" And indeed, if we didn't have the feeling that all that must be borne because it leads to something else of an altogether different nature and expression, it would be so insipid and puerile, so petty that it would become quite unbearable. That's certainly what explains the aspiration for Nirvana and the flight from this world.
So there is this problem, a problem of every second, which I must solve every second by the corresponding attitude that leads to the True Thing; and at the same time, there is the other attitude of acceptance of all that is - for instance, of what leads to disintegration: the acceptance of disintegration, defeat, decomposition, weakening, decay - all things that, naturally, to the ordinary man, are detestable and against which he reacts violently. But since you are told that everything is the expression of the divine Will and must be accepted as the divine Will, there comes this problem, which crops up almost constantly and every minute: if you accept those things as the expression of the divine Will, quite naturally things will follow their habitual course towards disintegration, but what is the TRUE ATTITUDE that can give you that perfect equanimity in all circumstances, and at the same time give a maximum of force and power and will to the Perfection that must be realized?
As soon as we deal with even the vital plane, even the lower vital, the problem doesn't arise, it's very easy; but here, in the cells of the body, in this life? In this life of every minute, which is so constricted, so shriveled, so microscopic.... What should you do when you know that you mustn't bring into play a will to reject all that is a decay, and when, at the same time, you can't accept decay because you don't see it as a perfect expression of the Divine?
It's very subtle ... there is something to be found; and it's something that, obviously, I haven't found because it keeps coming back again and again.... At times, I even say, "Oh, for Peace, Peace, Peace ..." but then I feel it is a weakness. I say, "To let myself go, not thinking of anything, not trying to know anything," but then something instantly rises there, somewhere, and says, Tamas. [[Tamas: inertia. ]]
(silence)
You see, on the mental level, it isn't a problem, all that has been
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solved and it's very fine. But it's HERE, inside here - I can't even say in the sensation because I don't live in the sensations. It's a problem of consciousness, of the consciousness of this body.
And I clearly feel that the problem could disappear only if the supreme Consciousness truly took possession of the cells and made them live, act, move, like that, so they had the sense of the Omnipotence taking hold of them; then it would be over, they would no longer be responsible for anything. This seems to be the only solution. Then comes the prayer, "When will it come?"
"Aspire intensely, but without impatience...."
It's not even that I have the feeling of the years going by - there is nothing like that, it's not that! It's the problem of living from second to second, from minute to minute. I don't at all think, "Oh, the years are going by ... ," it's a long time since all that has been over. It's not that, it's ... the easy path of passive acceptance, which evidently leads ("evidently," I mean not through reasoning, but THROUGH EXPERIENCE), which leads to increased decay; or else, that intensity of aspiration for the Perfection that must manifest, for all that must be, an aspiration which keeps everything at a standstill in that expectation. It's the opposition between these two attitudes.
The problem is made worse by the fact that the goodwill of the cells (a necessarily ignorant goodwill) doesn't know if one attitude is better than the other, if it should choose between the two, if both should be accepted - they don't know! And as it isn't mentalized or formulated or with words, it's very difficult. Oh, as soon as the words are there ... all that has been said comes back, and it's over. It's not that, it's not that anymore. Even if strong sensations or a vital force come up, it's not a problem anymore. The problem is only HERE, in this (Mother strikes her body).
Nights, for instance, are a long awareness, a great action, a discovery of all kinds of things, a taking stock of the situation as it is - but there aren't any problems! But the minute the body (I can't say "wakes up" because it isn't asleep: it's only in a state of rest sufficiently complete for its personal difficulties not to interfere), but from time to time, what we'll call "waking up" takes place, that is to say, the purely physical consciousness comes back - and the whole problem comes back instantly. Instantly the problem is there. And without your remembering it: the problem doesn't come back because you remember it, it's that the problem is there, in the very cells.
And in the morning, oh! ... All mornings are difficult. It's odd:
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life as a whole goes by with almost dizzying speed - weeks and months go by like that - and mornings, about three hours every morning, last like a century! Each minute is won at the cost of an effort. It is the time of the work in the body, for the body, and not just one body: for instance, all the vibrations from sick people, all those problems of life come from everywhere. And for those three hours, there is tension, struggle, acute seeking for what should be done or for the attitude to be taken.... It's at that time that I have tested the power of the mantra. For those three hours, I repeat my mantra automatically, without stopping; and every time the difficulty increases, a kind of Power comes into those words and acts on Matter. And that's how I know: without the mantra, that work couldn't be done. But that's why I say it has to be YOUR mantra, not something you received from whomever - the mantra that arose spontaneously from your deeper being (gesture to the heart), from your inner guide. That's what holds out. When you don't know, when you don't understand, when you don't want to let the mind intervene and you are ... THAT is there; the mantra is there; and it helps you to get through. It helps to get through. It saves the situation at critical moments, it's a considerable support, considerable.
For those three hours (three or three and a half hours), it's constant, constant, without stop. So then the words well up (gesture from the heart). And when the situation becomes critical, when that disorder, that disintegration seem to be gaining in power, it's as if the mantra were becoming swollen with force, and ... it restores order.
And that wasn't just once, or for a month, or a year: it has been like that for years, and it goes on increasing.
But it's hard work.
And afterwards, after those hours, the contact with outside starts again: I start seeing people again and doing the outer work, listening to letters, answering, making decisions; and every person, every letter, every action brings its own volume of disorder, disharmony and disintegration. It's as if all that were dumped by the truckload on your head. And you have to hold out.
Then, at times, it becomes very difficult. You have to hold out.
When you can remain still and quiet, it's fine, but when you have to make decisions, listen to letters, answer ... So when it's too much at once and when people who bring it all bring their own disorder in addition, at times it's a bit much.
But it's so subtle in its nature that it is incomprehensible for
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people around you; you seem to be making a lot of fuss about nothing. Those are things which, in their unconsciousness, they don't feel at all, not at all - it takes shouting and quarrels and battles, almost, for them to notice that there's disorder!
Voilà.
I didn't intend to tell you all this because it's ... it's useless.
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