May 5, 1965

You look pale.

I am not feeling very well.

(silence)

I feel as if I am not here, and this has been going on since ...

My body is far away from me.

Last time, in the afternoon of the day you came, the 30th, I was rather in a poor condition [Mother had "heart" troubles]. And since then I have felt as if ... I am rather far away from my body.... I am in a very, very diluted consciousness (widespread gesture), very diluted.

(Mother goes into meditation)

I have a feeling that only one thing exists: making contact - putting the divine Vibration in contact with Matter. And this is the only thing which is REAL. Things seem to have clarified these past few days, since the 30th; and this morning when I got up, it was so strong that it was really the only thing existing. To such a point that there was a spontaneous perception that whatever thought clothes this thing in, or whatever the organization of life, it's totally unimportant - it's only men who attach importance to that, but from the standpoint of the Work, only this matters: being in this state I am in (which is a very particular state), in which the vibration, the vibration of Matter is put in contact, united - united - with the divine Vibration.

All the rest ... unreal. [[The rest of the conversation is interspersed with long, vanishing meditations, like great stretches of Alaska in the snow. ]]

(long silence)

I feel as if the circulation isn't working, I don't know how to explain it.

(Mother goes into concentration)

It's like this (vast, expansive gesture), im-mo-bile.... But with a great intensity of vibration - the vibration that doesn't move. [The vibration that doesn't move is the supramental Vibration. ]]

 

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Do you have any news from your mother? I am asking you because yesterday I was in contact with her and with your brother....

(long meditation)

It can go on like that indefinitely.

So what are we going to do? If it goes on, it'll be a long time before we've finished our work!

We have time.

Indeed we have - when one thinks one has time, it takes years! Anyway, I am not doing it deliberately - it's thrust upon me, and then there's nothing that can be done.

But are things better for you?

Yes, Mother.

(silence)

There is a growing sense of a Power that's beginning to be limitless. But that state is in fact linked with those difficulties [heart or circulatory troubles]. And, you know, I don't make any decisions, I don't do anything [to attain that state]: I am like this (immobile gesture, palms open to the Heights), in "something" that feels as if it could be eternally like that. But within it, I perceive waves, movements (and sometimes concentrations, when it has to do with world events) that have a stupendous power.

We just have to keep still and, well, we'll see what will happen anyway.

But as for you, you must get physically stronger and stronger.

I am all right.

That's very, very important, because we will have a lot of work to do together; I know that.

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