November 4, 1972
The whole subconscient is … (gesture of something rising up en
masse).
(silence)
And then … how can I put this? … It isn’t sensation or knowledge, it’s a kind of … (Mother feels the air between her fingers), you can’t even say conviction: it’s a certitude – a certitude in the perception – that Bliss is there … right there, WAITING FOR us, but a whole world of contradictions that have been repressed in the subconscient keeps rising up from the subconscient to prevent us from feeling it. So … you could say it’s a battlefield, but in a perfect calm.
It’s impossible to describe.
Impossible to describe.
When I remain still and enter that Consciousness, time flies with fantastic speed, in a kind of … luminous calm. But the slightest thing that pulls me out of it seems to pull me into hell. Exactly.
The discomfort is so great one feels one couldn’t last a minute or a few minutes like that. So one … one calls the Divine…. You feel like curling up in the Divine.
And then it goes well.
(Mother plunges in
but after a while she seems ill at ease)
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