October 11, 1972
(After inquiring about Satprem’s health.)
And in general is it better?
Yes. I don’t know, how do you see it yourself?
(Mother laughs) I mean, is it better on the whole? … Can’t you
hear?
Yes, yes, of course I can hear! You mean the whole of …
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Of you?
Oh, me…. I don’t know, I’m a speck of dust … that is trying
to be a little useful, that’s all.
(Mother nods her head)
But I don’t know what "me" is. Whenever I see that "me," it
seems quite ridiculous and dark.
(Mother laughs)
Everything good in me isn’t "me" at all.
That I understand!
So I really don’t know.
That’s very good.
Yes, but the person I "inhabit," if I may say so, seems so dark,
so small, so … oh, so uninteresting!
Listen, it’s the Divine who made us the way we are….
Yes, Mother.
… Our unconsciousness is what prevents us from knowing it, otherwise we would always be in a kind of luminous peace, and simply: what You want, Lord, what You want … (Mother opens her hands in a gesture of total surrender). Like that.
For me – I mean, for this sort of … for this (Mother pinches the skin of her arms), which has lived so many years but doesn’t know anything anymore, and can’t do anything anymore, there’s only … (same gesture of surrender, hands offered to the Lord).
Whatever conscious will is left is used to remain attentive – attentive, absolutely still and peaceful (gesture of listening to the above). To try not to obstruct or distort what the Lord … (Mother corrects herself) what the Divine wants. That’s all. And not a personal Divine: the Divine Consciousness at work in the world.
We know nothing, we know absolutely nothing, we are totally stupid really, but if we can be like this (gesture, hands open): receptive – receptive in a silence … a silence that worships … Light, Light … a perfect Knowledge and unerring Will….
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(Mother opens her hands
long silence)
You have nothing to say?
No, Mother.
Or ask?
One always has a feeling of … yes, of always being full of all
sorts of problems. There’s a hiatus, an increasingly painful
chasm between a life you know is tranquil and vast, and a
person who is…. You feel the disparity between the two is
getting more and more poignant.
Yes, that’s exactly what I am living through.
But then I’ve learned that there’s only one way:
(Mother opens her hands)
That is it. Do you understand?
(Mother plunges in)
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