September 2, 1970
(Mother’s first words for almost a month. Her left eye is very
swollen, her voice husky. It is not over yet.)
Forbidden to speak: it makes me cough terribly.
(long meditation)
Do you know a man with slightly red hair, or dark blond, and a beard?
???
No?… He was here (gesture next to Satprem). You don’t know who it is?… He was sitting like that, on the ground.
(Mother looks again) You have many disciples now, don’t you?
Who? [[Satprem heard "he has many disciples" and thought Mother was referring to this red-haired man. It never occurred to him he could have disciples! ]]
(silence)
Who?
(silence)
Not me?!
(Mother plunges in again)
It’s better…. Very slowly.
If I remember once it’s over, I’ll have something really interesting to say. But I don’t know whether I’ll remember….
It’s the experience of the body – the body left to itself. [[As in 1962 and 1968. ]]
(silence)
Page 303
We’ll see.
The psychic may have … it may have "attended," you understand, without intervening, and it may remember, possibly.
Its … anyway. It’s still a … The result isn’t certain, that’s all I can say.
(silence)
It’s something prodigious … which looks idiotic.
(long silence)
You know, the little body … the little body is like a point, but its impression is of being the expression of an AWESOME power, and it’s … like this: no capacity, no expression, nothing – and rather … rather miserable. And yet … it’s like a condensation – condensation – like the condensation of an AWESOME power!… At times, it even has difficulty bearing it, you understand.
All experiences are as if multiplied a hundred times…. Only, it has difficulty learning.
(Satprem lays his forehead on Mother’s knees.
Mother gropes for flowers by her side.)
What’s this?
(Sujata:) I don’t know, it’s a new flower, Mother. [[A double hibiscus with a new color between red and pink. ]]
(Mother nods) Ah, isn’t it! I feel it’s a flower connected to what’s going on.
(Satprem:) It’s a hibiscus, a "Power."
Yes, it’s a Power.
I’ll give you one so you try and find out what it is. I’ll keep the other to see if I find out. There, my children.
(Mother takes Satprem’s hands)
The end isn’t … I mean, the result isn’t decided yet in my consciousness. It may be … the Attempt, it may be … (vague gesture spreading out in time and space).
Page 304
It’s preparing something prodigious, but I don’t know whether this body … whether it’s this body that will do it. That’s all.
(Mother takes Sujata’s hand in her left hand
and Satprem’s hand in her right one)
Page 305