October 29, 1969
(The conversation begins an hour late.)
It’s awful!
It’s a pity for the Agenda, because when at 11 you’ve seen so
many people … How many times you told me, "Oh, I think I had
something to tell you, now it’s gone …" It’s a pity.
Yes, but the whole of life is like that. I try and try, but everyone comes – for birthdays, for visits, for And yet I don’t take everyone. It’s become frightful.
I want to do one thing: twice a week, the days when you come, I’ll refuse to see people.
I’ll arrange something, because it’s beginning to be impossible. I can’t do the work in these conditions.
***
(Then Mother listens to the English translation of the "Notes on
the Way" proposed by Satprem, the conversation of August 16
in which Mother spoke of the need to make a void and wait
for the Command from above.)
I think people will find it incomprehensible, they’ll all fall asleep!
(To Nolini, in English:) What do you think, they can understand?
(Nolini, in English:) Understand does not matter, it is all right! …
I tell to my class always – when I read Mother’s things, to the
Page 403
class I say, "Don’t try to understand, try to feel what is there –
don’t understand. The understanding if it comes it’s all right, if
it does not come, don’t worry. Try to feel what is there."
***
(Soon afterwards, regarding Satprem’s coming birthday, and
his last meeting with the healer.)
I’ve tried to see what I could give you …. I don’t know. Don’t you need anything? If you do, tell me …. What? Is there nothing of which you’d say, "Oh, if I had that …"? Don’t you ever say that to yourself?
No.
You’re wonderful!
No, no, I just have all I need!
How old are you going to be?
46.
Babah!
(silence)
It seems I’ve raised torrents with A.R.?
Poor man, he wept …. But in the end, I think it did him good.
He’s leaving in a few days.
It’s very hard to know what one should do.
Yes.
(long silence)
One can’t know. As for me, I am convinced that one can’t know, that one must be like this (Mother opens her hands upward). What I’ve said here [in the "Notes on the Way"] is true: one must be like that, and then … let the Consciousness act through oneself.
Page 404
That’s what I tried to do. Don’t you see any error in that?
No! For me, that doesn’t exist.
Seen from a distance, I am convinced it did him a lot of good. At the time, it was very hard.
But I was impelled to speak to him like that because I did like this man!
Yes.
If I had been indifferent to him, I would have said, "Yes, yes, very
good," and that’s all.
Yes. One doesn’t know The body here is beginning to understand thoroughly that one must be like this (gesture upward). The one most important thing is to have one’s consciousness CONSTANTLY turned towards … towards the Perfection we must manifest. That’s all.
With the understanding we have, it’s IMPOSSIBLE to know. Our vision is too small.
That’s what I try to do, and what I pray you give me, Mother-
it’s to do the True Thing.
Yes, that’s it. That’s what I wanted to give you tomorrow … if I can. But it’s not "me," you understand: ask above and you will have it.
Page 405