February 22, 1969
Your mother is fine …. She is very concentrated.
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(Mother hands to Satprem the message she has given for February 21, her ninety-first birthday anniversary:)
"It is only immutable peace that can make possible eternity of existence."
Would you know when I wrote this?
Yes, it was in ’65, I think. [[It is adapted from the conversation of June 14, 1965. See Agenda VI, p. 127. ]]
I don’t remember when it was, but I remember that I wrote it after I had the experience that the immobility of the Inconscient, of the beginning of the creation, is (I can’t say a "projection"), is a sort of inanimate or inconscient symbol of Eternity, of Immobility (it’s not "immobility," words are worthless, it’s between immobility and stability). Here I wrote "peace," but "peace" is a poor word, it’s not that, it’s infinitely more than peace; it’s the "something" (even the word "eternal" gives a limited sense, all words are impossible), the something that’s the Origin of everything and the start of the evolution of the manifestation to rejoin the Origin (Mother draws a curve joining the one to the other).
I remember I had this experience … I don’t know, I thought I had had this experience at the Playground, but in ’65 I no longer used to go there.
I don’t know, I feel it was at the Playground, and the experience was as if the inconscient immobility – the Inconscient’s INERT immobility – were the starting point of evolution, and a sort of TRANSLATION of this … (what should I call it? It’s another kind of immobility too! But an immobility that contains all movements), of this immobility of the Origin, this stability, with the perception that the whole evolution is for that to find That again, with the whole transition (same gesture like a great curve). It was a very clear vision, I remember I wrote it down. And when I read this [the text of the message], the experience came back.
You see, they always speak of a "fall" – that’s not it! Not at all. If there was a fall, that was when the vital became a will of independence: that wasn’t at the beginning, it was quite some distance along the way … In the ancient tradition, they say that the Conscient became the Inconscient because it "cut itself off from the Origin" – it strikes me as stories told to children.
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Strangely, in the silence and in the vision, it’s very clear, very luminous, understandable. as soon as you want to say it, it becomes stupid.
But then, in the creation itself as it is now, it’s true: the word peace" might indeed be the nearest (although it’s not that, it’s quite small and restricted, it’s not that). As soon as something is disrupted or goes wrong, it’s this "peace" that, within, comes as the remedy.
(silence)
Oh, words are useless, I don’t know what to do, I don’t know if it’s because I have too few of them, or because they really … All mental expression seems artificial; it gives a sense of a lifeless coating. It’s odd. And the entire language belongs to that region. When I want to say that experience … With some people, I very clearly, very easily make contact in the silence, and I tell them infinitely more things than I could with words; it’s more supple, more precise, deeper … I might say that words, sentences, written things strike me as a two-dimensional image (the ordinary image), while this contact, which I can have with people as soon as I stop speaking, adds a depth and something truer (it’s not wholly true, far from it, but it’s truer), and there is a depth.
(silence)
That’s why experiences are hard to express. They’re no longer separate experiences that come one after another, it’s like a single and overall movement (round gesture) of transformation, and with a great intensity.
In the ordinary functioning of life, there is the sense of "things are fine," which in people is expressed by a sensation of good health, and on the other hand, disequilibrium, disorganization; well, now that opposition appears WHOLLY artificial: there’s only a continuous movement, with transitions from one type of vibration to another type of vibration whose origin is (what should I say? It’s not "deeper," not "higher," and "truer" gives only one side, it’s not that), anyway, "superior" in some way – words are idiotic, quite idiotic. That’s how it is, how it is all the time [this continuous movement]. So then, you are drawn to one place or another: it’s simply the play of our consciousness. But to an all- seeing consciousness, it’s a continuous and overall movement towards … yes, that’s it, it’s for this inert Inconscient to become the absolute
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Conscient …. I don’t know, I have a vague impression that they’ve discovered that a certain intensity of movement (that is, what we call "speed") results in a sense of immobility I have a vague impression that I’ve been told that. But it corresponds to something. What I’ve called "peace" in the message, that peace … (I hesitate to speak because words are stupid), that peace, what’s felt as peace, is a paroxysm of movement, but a general movement – harmonious, general.
As soon as one speaks, it becomes a caricature.
(long silence)
I’ll end up keeping silent!
I hope not!
(Mother laughs) But all this is so pathetic!
Later we’ll speak in color.
Ah, that would be lovely …
It has reached such a point that when someone says something to me, for instance reads back to me something I’ve said, I don’t understand anymore! … I try my best, but there’s the whole intensity of the Consciousness seeking to express itself, and when it’s read back to me, the intensity is no longer there, so it no longer makes any sense.
Just this very message, when they read it to me, the experience came back, so I know how it was, and the word "peace" contained so many things! … Now it’s no longer there.
What word did I use?
"Peace," yes.
Immutable?
Yes: "It is only immutable peace …
Yes, and the experience was that that same immutable peace (which is neither "peace" nor "immutable"! It’s "something"), that same Thing was there in inert unconsciousness. It was so concrete! … And then, the whole curve of the creation for that and That to become apparently one (but they ARE one – they are one). We
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might say (but it becomes sentences, it’s sentences): for that and That to become conscious of their identity But it’s a sentence.
(long silence)
The experience was so intensely concrete that as soon as I start talking, it comes down. There (gesture above), the consciousness is clear, but then …
What can we do? We should use photos!
We might make some progress, might we not? (Mother laughs)
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