January 29, 1969
What do you have to tell me? Me, I have nothing to say …
Are you tired?
It’s going on …. The difficulties of those around, of the work, of people, keep increasing, from health to understanding (there seems to be a general crisis), but the Help and the Power keep increasing too. It’s like a sort of demonstration.
But the difficulties are taking on rather unpleasant proportions.
(long silence)
Children are nicer and nicer! … The NEW children are truly remarkable. Today I saw Ws little girl: she’s two years old, I think, but she is as children used to be at the age of six or seven. Alert, intelligent … It’s strange.
What do you have to say?
(long silence)
I have a vague impression that I had something to tell you, but I don’t know …
(Then Mother shows a brochure of "=1"
on education in Auroville)
Page 36
… Anyway, it’s not bad.
I don’t know if it’s wrong, but I am no longer interested in any
"problem." I no longer ask myself any questions at all. The specu
lative mind doesn’t interest me.
Oh, but I might be responsible! … Because for me, that’s pretty much like chatter.
Nothing interests me anymore, except something else that I am
waiting for.
Something that must come, yes, that’s right.
So all the rest … People give me books, give me letters, but I am
not interested.
That’s it. So she [the brochure's author] wants to see me …. I find all this so futile!
Yes, it’s something ELSE.
Yes.
Something WHOLLY OTHER …
Yes.
… which must come.
Exactly.
So all these embellishments of the present are uninteresting, I
find.
Exactly And the whole day long, from morning to night, they pester me with fuss of this sort (Mother points to the brochure). And she wants to see me ….
Would you like me to read the brochure and give you an account
of it?
Page 37
No, I’ve read it (not read but listened to it): it’s words. It’s not bad, but it’s words.
Only, she takes it seriously: it’s "education in Auroville."
But I am so aware that it’s the mind indulging in itself, and going on indulging, so … And if you try to get them out of it, they no longer understand anything. So the best is to let them. But I don’t see why we should bother to read their stories.
No, really, mental life seems to … go round in circles.
There’s such a mixture! … (It’s Pavitra who read it out to me yesterday evening.) Suddenly there’s a sentence from Sri Aurobindo, then a sentence from Y. [the brochure author], then suddenly a sentence from me, then suddenly one from M. (who has become a great guru) ….
They’ve asked me for articles – not they, others. I said, "What on
earth can I say! …" It doesn’t come, I am not interested.
Oh, they’ve asked you …
But going by the echoes from Europe, you get a sense of a huge
balloon swelling and swelling more and more (economically,
financially, mechanically) and about to burst-it has to burst …
into something else. And the Mind is part of this balloon.
Yes, yes, it’s the Mind that seems to have swollen as much as it can, almost to bursting. It’s exactly that.
I was wondering about this: Will it take … a complete bankruptcy of the Mind for people to understand? … Will it burst to end in a zero?
So I am constantly asked for messages (not articles because I no longer write any), but Y wants me to see her and to "note down" what I will tell her. But I know very well that everything I will say will be completely distorted.
One would like to be able to … keep a little quiet.
And they take it all so seriously! They think it’s so important ….
Constantly, the only thing I feel like saying to all these people is, SOMETHING ELSE … SOMETHING ELSE …
Yes, exactly.
I feel there’s nothing else to answer.
Page 38
(Mother goes into
a long contemplation,
then speaks in English)
I could remain for hours like this! [[During the meditation, Sujata noticed that Mother opened her eyes for a moment, and according to her, they were absolutely Sri Aurobindo's eyes. And Mother spoke in English when she emerged from the meditation. ]]
A great Peace has come down. Did you feel that? …
(Satprem:) Yes.
And then it becomes wide, wide, wide ….
(silence,
then Mother speaks
in French again)
I find it very comfortable!
(Satprem lays his head
on Mother’s knees, then Mother
looks at him for a long time)
It’s like BIG eyes looking (Mother gestures to show about eight inches). I have a feeling of BIG eyes looking …. <39>
Page 39