July 10, 1968
Mother sorts out letters
There’s little S. who wrote me a letter – quite a desperate letter in which she said she didn’t want to live anymore. Because she’d done some foolish things. So I answered her that one doesn’t live for one’s own satisfaction: one lives to discover the Divine and identify with him. And so, it’s not a question of “pleasure” or “no pleasure.”
I wrote very strongly and sent the letter. Since then, absolute
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silence! No one budges anymore.
(another letter)
This is Y. trying to show me I was wrong and she was right. Very well! Let her remain convinced she’s right, it’s the same to me! (Mother laughs)
(a note of Mother’s)
"According to what I know and see, in a general
way, children OVER FOURTEEN should be left inde
pendent, and should be given advice only in so far
as they ASK for it.
They must know that steering their own life is
their responsibility."
* * *
Soon afterwards
I had made a reply to T.F.’s pupils on the question, “What is death?” (They had written to me and I had replied.) But then, they didn’t understand anything. And here are their new questions:
(Mother holds out a letter to Satprem)
Regarding your last reply, here are our questions:
"When the will of the physical being abdicates ‘for
no reason,’ is it for no PHYSICAL reason, or for no
reason of any sort?"
What did I tell them?
Yes, regarding leaving one’s body, you said, "There are innu
merable reasons, but unless it’s caused by a violent accident,
it’s mostly the will to maintain cohesion which abdicates for
one reason or another, or for no reason. That is what inevitably
precedes death."
The physical consciousness is conscious only physically, so my expression isn’t clear enough: "For no reason it’s CONSCIOUS OF." That’s all.
The other question?
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“Where does the physical being’s disgust at carrying
on the effort of coordination and harmonization
come from?”
[[Mother had written: "The central will of the physical being abdicates its will to hold all the cells together.... It accepts dissolution for some reason or other. One of the strongest reasons is the sense of irreparable disharmony; another is a sort of disgust at carrying on the effort of coordination and harmonization." ]]
That disgust generally occurs when there is in some part of the being – an important part, either vital or mental – an absolute refusal to progress, and so, physically, that expresses itself as a refusal to exert oneself against the deterioration that stems from time.
And the last question: "Where does the link between
the central will of the physical being and the cells
take place? How is it made?"
(long silence)
The cells have an internal constitution or structure that corresponds to the structure of the universe. So the connection is made … (one is stopped short by the stupidity of words: it’s not “external,” but it’s external for the individual), it’s made between identical external and internal states, that is to say, the cell, in its internal constitution, receives the vibration of the corresponding state in the total constitution.
Words are inane.
(Mother goes into a long contemplation,
then suddenly smiles, amused
in the middle of her contemplation)
Someone (I don’t know who) has just shown me…. It was a man’s big hand, and there was in it … it wasn’t an egg or a physical object – he told me it was the representation of a cell. It was an object that seemed to me this big (gesture: about three inches), transparent and living: it was living. And he showed me the various internal constitutions of the cell, and the correspondence with the center. A wholly precise vision, so precise that I was flabbergasted, I said, “Oh!”
It had a strange shape: not like an egg, but narrower at one end, and … I don’t know how to describe. Give me a piece of paper.
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(Mother starts drawing)
It didn’t have a very precise outline, because it was radiant. It had internal constitutions of varying radiances (Mother draws points or various concentrations within the cell), and the center was wholly luminous. And there was a big hand, almost a paw, you know, a big hand holding this cell very carefully: he took great care to touch it as lightly as possible (Mother draws two big fingers holding the cell). It was luminous, held up with two fingers, like this…. I don’t know what the scientific shape of cells is, but it was like this. And he showed me the various radiances. The periphery was the most opaque; the deeper inside, the more luminous it became; and the center was wholly luminous, it was bright, that is, radiating. Then there were different colors – not very intense, but different colors. The hand was magnified perhaps
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twice, because it was this big (about ten inches), while the object was this big (about three inches), and it was a cell.
He showed me the constitution, and how the connection was made.
Did the connection take place at the center of the cell?
Yes, at the center of the cell.
The fingers were much bigger than the cell, and they touched it only with the tips, like this (gesture). Only the forefinger and thumb were visible – the tip of the thumb. But huge fingers! So it was probably magnified.
(Mother laughs) I was a bit flabbergasted!
It may be the ratio between the size of a hand and that of a cell – no, it can’t be. But it was a huge hand, like this, holding a cell up to me. Big like this. He showed the connection. There were colors: some spots were slightly bluish, others … There were all kinds of things – it was very complex – with varying radiations. And the connection was from light to light.
But here, this boy asks about the link between the cell and the
central will of the physical being.
Physical, yes.
But what you’ve just drawn is the cellular central will.
But it’s the correspondence between the two. It was to show me how the central will of the physical being was connected to or acted on the cells. He showed me a cell which was like the representation …
In other words, the central will, or light, acts on the cell by
touching corresponding lights?
Yes, that’s it, by an inner contact in the being. It gave the impression that each cell was a miniature world corresponding to the whole.
(silence)
My whole life long, I complained that my visions weren’t more material than vital visions: they started from the vital and went
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up higher and higher, but below the vital, there was nothing. And now, it’s a continual vision of the subtle physical – constant, I see both together: the physical and the subtle physical. Only, the physical, purely physical vision is much disturbed by the other vision. You understand, it’s more a CONSCIOUSNESS of things than purely and merely a vision. And I’ve noticed, when I have someone in front of me, for instance, with some, when I look at them they grow more and more precise and clear; others become more and more blurred TO MY PHYSICAL VISION. It must depend on their state of consciousness. Some grow extremely precise, especially the eyes, and in their eyes I see the consciousness – the eyes are perfectly visible. Others, on the contrary, become blurred like that; with some, even, in place of their eyes I’ve seen two black plates. As if they wanted to put a veil. It’s very interesting.
Oh, physically I see clearly enough to do everything, but I can’t read. Even my vision of pictures is a little … I don’t know if it’s deteriorated or transformed: what I see isn’t the picture as it is exactly, but maybe as it wanted to be. A slight difference.
Hem! (Mother smiles, amused)
Another time, I’ll ask you a question on this vision. Now it’s
too late.
If you had asked it, I’d have been happy. Now it’s a little late. What question?
On the supramental vision, in fact.
Oh, yes, that was a problem. All right, all right!
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