October 15, 1966
The conversation begins an hour and a half late.
All right. It’s 11:30. I am not starting anything – neither talking nor keeping quiet (because that lasts a long time!)
I’ll try to play some music on October 30, if I can. I don’t know
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what will come…. One day, as I was sitting quietly, I wondered whether it would come, and suddenly I grew very tall, very tall, with large hands, and I was sitting before an instrument that wasn’t this one: it was a much bigger instrument, and I started playing such a fugue! It was fantastic. I looked and saw myself with large hands, large arms, and a big instrument…. And it was very good (laughing), the MUSIC was very good!
It’s the first time I have seen myself like that.
But there’s nothing left of the music, nothing at all in the memory, not a single note.
***
(Then Mother looks at her appointment notebook and the stack of letters from people asking to see her.)
All this (pointing to the stack of letters) is for appointments! And it’s something quite simple, it’s not tiring – nothing is tiring if you aren’t in a hurry. But if you are forever thinking of the next thing you have to do, it’s horrible. If you do the thing as it comes, without thinking of anything else, it’s very good…. That nasty habit of thinking, always thinking – very bad. But I am beginning to … (with a mischievous smile) Do you think fish think?! Because I felt like saying, “I am beginning to live like a fish in water!” (Laughing) Fish probably don’t think. But dolphins think, don’t they? They talk, so they must think … their brain is heavier than man’s.
Ah, no chattering!
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