November 13, 1965
Sweet Mother, for two or three weeks, some blood has been coming again.
They gave you a treatment, are you following it?
Yes, very scrupulously.
That’s troublesome.
I don’t have faith in their treatments.
Doctors would not exist without diseases, you understand. I am not saying that they consciously encourage them, but they are on quite … friendly terms.
It’s very subtle, but absolutely true.
I see a given vibratory phenomenon of the cells with the Consciousness (let’s call it universal Consciousness), and then the very
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same thing seen in a medical consciousness – if you knew how changed it is! It takes on a very concrete character, to begin with (which it otherwise doesn’t have), and then very … it’s between "fatal" and "inescapable," I don’t know how to explain. It’s like a sort of rigid Fate. When they say, "Oh, it’s an illness" – finished. And it’s not true, there is no such thing as "an illness," there aren’t two identical cases.
So their atmosphere is a problem.
Unless one is in harmony with them, like this poor M., for instance. You know, when she went to the Vellore hospital, she felt as if she were entering a heaven. So, for her it will do a lot of good, it’s harmonious (!)
But how can it be harmonious!
Mon petit, people who have vice are in harmony with vice; malicious people are in harmony with malice.
Yes, but she isn’t like that.
She is a nurse – she is in harmony with doctors. And it has given her fresh heart. Because they have told her she had come in time – just in time – and that they would save her, so now she is full of trust. I got a letter, she has written in a letter, “I have taken fresh heart in life, I am at peace and certain that I will be cured, the fever has dropped, etc.”
Everything is relative in this world, there aren’t two identical cases, there aren’t two identical “diseases” – there isn’t an absolute good and there isn’t an absolute bad.
Hospitals stifle me. I got more and more ill in them.
Yes. It’s in the hospital here that what you had (a slight inner disorder, in fact) became a disease. It’s here. And in Vellore it worsened.
Yes, that’s true.
That’s how it is. I feel it clearly, you know: I have in me the possibility of five or six fatal diseases (I know it from the vibrations); if I had the misfortune, not to go to a hospital (!), but just to confide in a doctor, I would have incurable diseases.
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And this isn’t against any doctor in particular (they themselves suffer from the atmosphere without knowing it): it’s the medical atmosphere.
Disease is their raison d’être: without diseases there would be no doctors. There would be no need for them, they would be something else: they could become something else, but not doctors; something else very useful, I don’t know – scientists of the human constitution, scientists of food utilization, scientists of all sorts of things it’s good to know, but not “doctors” – a doctor is for curing diseases, so there have to be diseases in order to have doctors.
And I am not quite sure that before doctors existed there were diseases – there were disorders, there were accidents, there were all sorts of things because all that exists, but there wasn’t the LABEL “disease.” And the more learned doctors become (that is, the better they know their trade), the more (Mother clenches her fist) solid and fixed diseases become. So the doctors’ usefulness is to cure them – without diseases, they wouldn’t be useful.
They should be scientists of life…. The Chinese had that idea to some extent. I don’t know how it is nowadays, but in the past each family had a doctor (a doctor could have a lot of families under his care), and the doctor was paid only when everyone was in good health – if someone was ill, they stopped paying him! (Laughter) Voilà.
***
Soon afterwards, Satprem sorts “old” Agenda conversations.
What is it? Old ones?
It’s from 1964 [last year].
It must be ancient history. Doesn’t it seem dated?
No, not at all!
(Mother laughs)
Not at all, at all. No, no!
I feel as if it’s from a distant past.
Not at all.
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You know, all the problems the human mind has debated and solved, anyway everything that is at the basis of religions, philosophies, yogas, and so on, the great ideas on the why and the how – ideas that are universal – all of which had been settled for a very long time … now it comes back here (Mother points to her body). It comes back with the intensity, the acuteness of something absolutely new and absolutely unknown: Why life? Why this creation? What’s the meaning of it all? And with an intimate and painful knowledge of all the miseries of Matter, of all the stupidities of Matter, all the darknesses, all that – why all that? Why? And then, dissatisfied: what’s the use of it all?
It’s marvelous.
And the answer comes, but then with extraordinary solidity and certainty – quite extraordinary. Why the creation?… Why the creation? And the answer isn’t at all sentences as in philosophies (thank God! There is nothing of all that): it’s just vibrations.
And then, all of a sudden, in all this chaos, this struggle, this friction, this suffering, and this ignorance and this darkness and this effort and this and that (oh, it’s much worse than when it takes place in the mind: it’s here [in the body] and it’s a question, yes, of life and death in the true sense of the phrase, that is to say, of existence or nonexistence, of consciousness or total unconsciousness … and then how much it costs to find out anything!), and then, all of a sudden, just one drop … it’s not even a drop (it’s not liquid!), it’s not even a flash of lightning, it’s … yes, it’s a vibration, a DIFFERENT vibration – luminous, so wonderfully sweet, peaceful, powerful, absolute. It’s like something lighting up (gesture like a burst of light or a luminous pulsation). And then there’s no need anymore of discussion or explanation or anything: you’ve understood – it’s to become conscious of THAT, it’s to live THAT.
It happened this morning.
It began yesterday and has been developing.
That, mon petit … Oh, how poor explanations are – poor, incomplete, without the power to convince. But just THAT, one vibration of THAT, and then you understand everything.
And I have an impression, a very strong impression (I don’t have any proof yet) that its contagion is absolute, you understand. So having to explain, having to struggle, having to … oof! it’s all over – it’s contagious.
Bringing that and keeping it. Holding it, learning to hold it. It’s fantastic! And then it becomes just a question of receptivity, that’s
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all. And the receptivity must be in proportion to the goodwill (that’s what the old experience is saying for the moment, I have no proof), the receptivity must be in proportion to the goodwill or to the aspiration (but the two are very similar), to this something that wants something else. People who are very content, very satisfied and … (this is an interesting illustration) and who have realized a harmony in life (some people have realized a harmony in this life: everything appears so harmonious, so comfortable, they succeed in everything they do, everything that happens to them is …), I think those still have a long way to go before they can receive.
That [vibration] has nothing, but nothing to do with that whole path, that long, long, long path one has walked to prepare oneself, and with such blows, oh! … THAT (gesture like a burst of light), and all the rest no longer matters.
But it isn’t mental. For the time being, it has nothing to do with thought.
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