July 3, 1965
After Satprem has read out the last “Comments on the Aphorisms”[ [N¡ I 10 of May 29, 1965. ]]:
It was so boring that I felt sick.
(Satprem protests)
Anyway, it doesn’t matter.
For me it’s very different: things always appear old to me, they seem to belong to a faraway past. Especially these last few days…. This cold, for instance (Mother has a bad cold), I clearly saw why I caught it (outwardly the reason is very simple: the person who prepares my cards has a cold and I took the cold along with his cards), but why did I really catch it? Well, it corresponded to an arrow like movement in the consciousness of the cells, and then, naturally, a lag: all that was refusing (refusing or unable – it rather gives a feeling of drowsy things that aren’t too eager to make progress) is lagging behind, and naturally that manifests as a disorder.
Very well.
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