August 19, 1964
Mother looks very tired
How are you?
I should be the one asking you. I was told you haven’t been well.
It’s not that.
There is too much confusion and disorder…. Very busy nights
- too busy. And too much confusion here.
Maybe it’s fatigue.
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It’s especially (for me, for my consciousness) an avalanche of confusion on me, and not enough time to … (how can I put it?) transform it all as it falls on me. So it’s a little too much.
And then, all that one reads … I’ve heard some things written about me, I’ve heard the stories people have been telling in their “seminars” [[On the occasion of August 15, various groups of disciples met in Pondicherry. ]] – there’s enough to bury someone.
For sure! Their seminars are ridiculous, it’s a tangle of paltriness – they’re teaching people Sri Aurobindo!
That’s right.
They use words without consciousness, without knowledge and without power, so it’s just chatter, and unpleasant chatter.
Yes, that’s right.
As Bharatidi puts it, they love the sound of their own voices.
But that’s exactly the point, she is perfectly right.
I have myself never stopped telling them (you understand, I see the quality of the atmosphere [Mother fingers the air]), I told them that all those people who came worsened the stupidity of the atmosphere very seriously.
Then there are the others, that World-Union – as for them, from the first day (there were five members), from the first day, they have all been quarreling among themselves, they’ve never stopped quarreling! I told them it was a strange beginning for a “World-Union” – individually they all agreed with this, but they all went on quarreling! And it’s still going on.
This time, they decided to name me president. I didn’t ask them anything, naturally – they decided. And then, M. has withdrawn. She has written to me today to tell me, “I believe I cannot do anything more in World-Union.” If you put the two things together, it’s rather funny: the others write to ask me to be president, and M. withdraws – “I cannot work for World-Union anymore.”
Anyway, it’s a mishmash – you know, like mash for chickens.
But what makes it worse is that there were too many people, and too many people asking to see me – hundreds and hundreds of people who asked to see me. I said, “It’s not possible, it’s materially impossible.” And a minuscule work consisting in signing and signing
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and giving “blessings”…. So last night was difficult. This morning, it wasn’t brilliant.
We just have to stay still and let the storm blow over.
(meditation)
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