March
March 4, 1964
So, how are you?
And you?
Experiences … I have nothing to say. It’s too much and too little at the same time – too many things, details, innumerable little observations, innumerable little changes; but nothing sensational, nothing to make a “nice picture,” no. But first, I had asked you to tell me if you saw something.
I did see something, but I don’t think it’s very interesting, or collective either. I seemed to kind myself in an enormous plane, a very powerful one, which managed to take off (a takeoff which, besides, gave me a very pleasant sensation). It took off, but it was hedgehopping, that was dangerous. At first, the space before us was clear anyway, but we were flying very low and skimming the trees. Then, suddenly there were all kinds of buildings that stood in the way, in particular a huge tower, like a church steeple, of a very black color. I don’t know how it happened, but the plane (or the force) entered it – oddly enough – and inside it was completely dark; there was only a sort of opening in a watt, and beyond it, a patch of blue sky. It sounds impossible, but the plane tried to go through that hose, and when we tried to, that sort of opening turned out to be covered with very thick glass that stopped us from going through. So I remember that with a pointed instrument I broke the entire window to enable us to go through. We did, but it was too small, the opening was too narrow for such an enormous plane. Afterwards, it’s very confused; I only remember that in a hidden place, there was a sort of huge gold ciborium, very beautiful – it was hidden. But all the rest is quite confused.
Oh, but it’s interesting….
(silence)
As for me, I only saw one thing: on the morning of the 29th, I woke up (“woke up,” I mean “got up”) with the consciousness the
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Vedic Rishis called the “straight consciousness,” the one that comes straight from the Lord – the Truth-Consciousness, basically. It was absolutely quiet, calm, but with a sort of supersensation of an absolute well-being. Well-being, security – yes, a security – an indescribable peace, without the contrast of opposites. And it lasted about three hours, continuously, solidly, effortlessly (I didn’t make any effort to keep it). I only had a definite perception that it was what they called the consciousness of truth and immortality, along with a perception (an observation, rather), fairly clear and precise, of the way in which it becomes crookedness (you know their word).
I hadn’t tried to have that experience, I hadn’t thought about it or anything – it came as something massive, and it stayed. But I had the feeling it was individual: I didn’t feel it was something descending on earth. I felt it was something given to me, given to this body. That’s why I didn’t attach much importance to it. The feeling of a grace given to this body. And it didn’t leave till – it hasn’t left, but it has been little by little and very slowly veiled by … you know, that chaos of work, which has never been so chaotic and feverish at the same time. [[Three thousand visitors came for February 21 and 29. ]] For about two weeks, it has been appalling. We haven’t come out of it yet. It has veiled that state FOR ME. But I clearly felt it was something GIVEN to this body.
During the meditation on the 29th, I noticed (I looked), I noticed that for about two days, the atmosphere had been full of a sparkling of white stars, like dust – a twinkling dust of white stars. [[This is reminiscent of the "rain of white stars" seen by Sujata (see conversation of January 29). ]] I saw it had been there for three days. And at the time of the meditation, it became extremely intense. But it was widespread, it was everywhere.
There seemed to be nothing but sparkling dots – dots that glittered like diamonds. It was like sparkling diamonds everywhere, absolutely everywhere. And it had a tendency to come from above downward. It lasted not just hours, but days; others saw it (yet I didn’t say anything to anyone), others saw it and asked me what it was.
But there was nothing stunning or magnificent or astounding about it: nothing of the kind, nothing spectacular, nothing to give the feeling of a “great experience” – very quiet, but very, very self-assured. Very quiet.
Once it was over, after the balcony, [[On the evening of the 29th, Mother appeared at the balcony. ]] when I came back from the
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balcony, I said spontaneously, “Very well, then, we’ll have to wait another four years.”[[For the third anniversary of the Supramental Manifestation. ]]
Something in me was expecting … I don’t know what, which didn’t happen – maybe something that would have created havoc!
It was very quiet, very peaceful – very quiet, especially very quiet, and nothing marvelous or miraculous, nothing of the sort. So I said, “Very well, we’ll wait four years, another four years,” but for what, I don’t know … the something I was expecting and which didn’t happen.
But the external, material life had become very difficult – there were 3,000 extra people from outside. So it made a sort of confusion in the atmosphere, which isn’t over yet.
(silence)
I heard from some people that a great number of little miracles had occurred, but I didn’t listen, it doesn’t interest me (people tell me, but my thoughts are elsewhere). It’s possible: the atmosphere was highly charged. In people’s consciousness, it may result in little phenomena – a number of little phenomena which they call “miraculous,” but which to me are childishly simple and elementary: it’s just “the way things are.”
(silence)
Your vision … obviously it’s mental constructions standing in the way of the takeoff – that’s obvious. But it isn’t an individual experience: it’s a collective thing.
It was very black, and it was a church … like a church steeple. But the gold ciborium, what is that? It was very pretty, besides; it was beautiful, but hidden.
But it’s true, that’s indeed how it is.
It must be the supramental realization, which is hidden, still buried in Unconsciousness.
When I saw that gold ciborium, it was very confused, but some one was there with me (I don’t know who, I didn’t see him), and I said to him, "Have you seen this beautiful ciborium!" He replied, "No," but I KNEW he had seen it. Then I understood
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that if he said he had seen it, something bad would occur, [[There may be a parallel here with the "something that would have created havoc" Mother spoke of. ]] people would come or whatever, anyway it was important that people shouldn’t know he had also seen it.
It was important that people shouldn’t know it was there.
(long silence then meditation)
The feeling that the cells of the body are constantly subjected to a sort of pounding – it’s ceaseless, night and day. Since I told you about it last time, it’s been like that all the time.
It seems to be an endless work.
(long silence)
Today the doctor is leaving for America for a brain operation. [[It consists in inserting a "needle" into a very specific area of the brain in order to destroy a group of contagious cells. ]] It’s far from being a safe affair, it’s too new, there are still too many unknown elements.
There have been a number of really very interesting things with him, but it’s a sort of microscopic work, so it can’t be told…. For instance, the way the auras, the vibrations, are mingled – it’s very interesting.
I hope he is going to pull through?
He told me he wasn’t afraid.
But actually it’s nothing but an adventure into the unknown, because there’s no guarantee that they won’t cure one thing at the expense of another…. You understand, when they start operating on the brain!
Obviously a day will come when these operations will be common practice, but for the time being there are still too many unknowns.
But because we have lived together constantly, there is quite a mingling of atmospheres [the doctor's and Mother's], and when he tried to pull his away … (because he doesn’t know yet how to remain everywhere at the same time – not many people know how to do it, so they pull their atmosphere away, which causes a sort
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of dislocation of many things and …). He doesn’t admit it to himself, but he is very disturbed.
It’s an adventure.
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