July
July 4, 1962
The other day, Pavitra said to me in passing, “Modern science would neither follow nor believe us.” According to him, scientists acknowledge only “essential hypotheses,” and not having the experience, would take our science for a set of “non-essential” hypotheses. I didn’t argue, or else I would have told him, “We don’t make any hypotheses, far from it, we simply state our experiences.” They are free to disbelieve us or to think we’re half crazy or hallucinating – that’s up to them, it’s their business. But we don’t make hypotheses, we speak of things we know and have experienced.
For several hours afterwards I had a vision of this state of mind and found absolutely no need to make hypotheses (you see, Pavitra was speaking of “hypothesizing” the existence of different states of being). It’s just as I told you: I have passed that stage; I don’t need inner dimensions any more.[[ See conversation of May 24, 1962. ]] And observing this materialistic state of mind, it occurred to me that, on the basis of their own experiments, they are bound to admit oneness – at least the oneness of matter; and to admit oneness is enough to obtain the key to the whole problem!
Once again it made me realize that this last experience [of April 13] may in reality have come to free me from ALL past knowledge, and that … to live the Truth none of it is needed. I need neither all this terminology nor Sri Aurobindo’s terminology nor, of course, anyone else’s; I don’t need all these classifications, I don’t need all sorts of experiences – I need ONE experience, the one I have. And I have it in all things and in all circumstances: the experience of eternal, infinite, absolute Oneness manifesting in the finite, the relative and the temporal. And the process of change I am pursuing seems less and less of a problem; after looking like the ultimate problem, it doesn’t seem to be one any more, because … but that … that can’t be uttered – it pleases Him to be that way, so He is that way.
And the secret is simply to be in this “It pleases Him.”
To be not merely in what is objectified, but also in That which objectifies.
That’s all. With that, I need no other theory.
(silence)
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Taken to the extreme, if the identification is perfect, it is NECESSARILY omnipotence.
Ultimately, nothing but omnipotence could convert the world, convince the world. The world isn’t ready to experience supreme Love. Supreme Love eliminates all problems, even the problem of creation: there are no more problems, I know it since that experience [of April 13]. But the world isn’t ready yet, it may take a few thousand years. Although it is beginning to be ready for the manifestation of supreme Power (which seems to indicate that this will manifest first). And this supreme Power would result from a CONSTANT identification.
But this “constancy” isn’t yet established: one is identified and then one isn’t, is and then isn’t, so things get delayed indefinitely. You wind up doing exactly what you tell others not to do – one foot here and one foot there! It just won’t do.
(silence)
There must be certain laws – laws expressing a Wisdom far beyond us – for the experience seems to follow a sort of curve which, because I am in it, I don’t understand. And it won’t be understood till the end is reached; but I am right in the middle of it, or maybe at the very beginning….
(long silence)
We could say some elegant things, but they don’t explain anything; like this feeling, for example, that one must die unto death to be born to immortality.
It doesn’t mean anything but it corresponds to something.
To die unto death, to become incapable of dying because death has no more reality.
This is beginning to … I can’t say “crystallize,” that’s much too hard…. It’s like a soft breeze condensing.
(silence)
As you know, N.S. has left his body. It was the result of an accident (he had a weak heart, and he worried about it). He took a fall, probably because he fainted, and fractured his skull: “loss of consciousness” due to cerebral hemorrhage (that’s modern science speaking!). When the accident occurred, he came to me (not in a precise form, but in a state of consciousness I immediately recognized), and stayed here motionless, in complete trust and
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blissful peace – motionless in every state of being, absolutely … (gesture of surrender) total, total trust: what will be, will be; what is, is. No questions, not even a need to know. A cosy peace … a great ease.
They tried, fought, operated: no movement, nothing moved. Then one day they declared him dead (by the way, according to doctors, when the body dies the heart beats on faintly for a few seconds; then it stops and it’s all over). In his case, those faint beats (not strong enough to pump blood) continued for half an hour – the kind of heartbeats typical of the trance state. (They all seem to be crassly ignorant! But anyway, it doesn’t matter.) And they all said, even the doctors, “Oooh, he must be a great yogi, this only happens to yogis! ” I have no idea what they mean by that. But I do know that although those heartbeats aren’t strong enough to pump blood through the body (thus putting the body into a cataleptic state), they do suffice to maintain life, and that’s how yogis can remain in trance for months on end. Well, I don’t know what type of doctors they are (probably very modern), but they’re ignorant of this fact. Anyway, according to them he had those pulsations for half an hour (normally they last a few seconds). All right. Hence their remarks. And he was here the whole while, immutable. Then suddenly I felt a kind of shudder; I looked – he was gone. I was busy and didn’t note the time, but it was in the afternoon, that’s all I know. Later I was told that they had decided to cremate him, and had done so at that time.
The violence of the accident had brutally exteriorized him, but when it happened he must have been thinking of me with trust. He came and didn’t budge – he never knew what was happening to his body. He didn’t know he was dead! And if….
Then and there I said to myself, “This habit of cremating people is appallingly brutal!” (They put the fire in the mouth first.) He didn’t know he was dead and that’s how he learned it! … From the reaction of the life of the form in the body.
Even when the body is in a thoroughly bad condition, it takes at least seven days for the life of the form to leave it. And for someone practicing yoga, this life is CONSCIOUS. So you burn people a few hours after the doctors have declared them dead, but the life of the form is every inch alive and, in those who have practiced yoga, conscious.
It made me a bit….
Given the state he was in, it made NO difference to him whether he was dead or alive; that’s what was interesting! He remained in
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a blissful, trusting, peaceful state and I probably would have gently led him either to the psychic world or elsewhere, according to the indication I received as to what he had to do. He would never have known he was dead. [[Later, Mother commented: "This experience is interesting. He would have been able to EXIST in a psychic state (psychically, of course, one is immortal), he would have existed not knowing that he was dead ... if they hadn't burned him." ]]
This opened a door for me.[[ Recall the conversation of June 12: "I don't know whether I am dead or alive.... A type of life vibration which is completely independent of.... I can't say 'I am alive,' it's something else entirely." ]]
Because they cremated him he was abruptly (Mother violently shudders) and violently thrown into contact with the destruction of the body’s form.[[. "I mean a SUBTLE form," Mother clarified, "it's the body's subtle form." ]] It must have been the life of the form; when hurled so brutally out of the body, the life of the form must have thrown itself at him! So of course….
(silence)
I immediately said to myself, “But he was still existing, living, having the experience, absolutely INDEPENDENT of his body – he didn’t need his body to have his experience.” And with my protection and knowledge I could have put him either in a place of rest or, if need be, in touch with another body – and that would have been the end of it. Now, of course, everything is disrupted and we have to wait for things to calm down. [[One week later, Mother added: "It has worked out: he has gone to the psychic domain for a while (I think it's only for a while) to concentrate." ]]
But it is possible to die without knowing you are dead.
And to retain full consciousness – he was totally conscious and blissful.
I find that important, an important experience.
I haven’t told anyone what happened when they cremated him, because it would have made them all quite upset and miserable. I said only that he came to me. So don’t say a word; they mustn’t know. Not that it’s irreparable, but still, it’s not a pleasant experience.
But it came as if to put me in contact with this possibility.
(silence)
In ordinary consciousness, what really gets in the way of the experience is our excessive attachment to the physical form as we see it, which looks to us like a permanent reality of the being.
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I try to make people understand this through a practical demonstration. You know, I very rarely appear to people in a form even vaguely similar to the one I physically … I was about to say “had”! It always depends on what they are akin to, what they’re most intimate with – all sorts of forms. And I try to make them comprehend that THAT form is just as much mine as this one (Mother touches her body). To tell the truth, it is much more truly mine. As for the true form – the TRUE Form – to bear the sight of it, one must be able to relate directly to the Supreme. So when people say, “I want to see you,” or “I see you,” they mean the aspect of mine they know. But these torrents of forms are ALL true, and most of them truer than this body has ever been. To my consciousness it was always, oh, so pitiably approximate – a caricature! Not even a caricature: no resemblance at all.
It had its good qualities (I seem bent on speaking in the past tense – it’s spontaneous), qualities it was built and chosen for. For practical purposes, this body was very necessary, but when it comes to manifesting! …
But had it been truly expressive, something really eloquent, probably there would have been more reluctance to … to give it free rein.
There has never been too great an attachment to this form. There was never any attachment (even in so-called full Ignorance) to anything but consciousness – yes, something set great store by this consciousness, wouldn’t let it be destroyed, saying, “This is something precious.” But the body…. It’s not even too good an instrument; simply modest, plastic, self-effacing, and molding itself to every necessity. An ability to mold itself to all points of view and to realize every ideal it deemed worthy of realizing – this very suppleness was its one virtue. And extremely modest, never wanting to impose itself on anything or anyone. Fully conscious of its incapacity, but … capable of doing anything, of realizing anything. It was consciously formed with this make-up, because that’s what was necessary…. And nothing is too great or overwhelming, since there isn’t the resistance put up by a small personality with the sense of its own smallness. No, none of that matters – CONSCIOUSNESS matters; consciousness vast as the universe, even vaster. And along with consciousness, the capacity to adapt – to adapt and mold itself to every necessity.
Even now, my one feeling about this form is that it’s too rigid. Those stupendous inner revelations, those great movements of creative consciousness are constantly hampered by this. It’s
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trying, it’s trying its best, but it is still governed by such appallingly rigid laws! Appalling. How long will it take to overcome this?
We mustn’t be in a hurry.
(silence)
What kind of conclusions can be drawn from N.S.’s experience? What does it open the door to, practically speaking?
It depends on the case.
In this case, I let others decide because I don’t attend to such matters; but I did suggest they keep him until the next day, and I would have done something during the night. They were in a hurry – they’re always in a hurry….
I don’t even say not to cremate people, because in AT LEAST ninety-nine cases out of a hundred it’s the best thing to do.
The only solution is for people to grow wise, and they’re not wise. They accept a law, a principle, and then, having no wisdom, need to follow it blindly.
Had I taken the responsibility (I purposely didn’t, for other reasons), I would have said, “Keep him till tomorrow morning.” And I would have done something overnight. But naturally, this is one case in a million. You can’t make it a general rule.
No, I meant what conclusions for you, for your experience, can be drawn from this episode?
Ah, me, my experience! Why, it’s that someone can die without knowing he’s dead! Someone can die (what people call “dying”) without knowing he’s dead, so it’s not crucially important.
People say, ” He has lost consciousness.” They made this assumption in N.S.’s case because there were no vital signs and the consciousness in the body was reduced to a minimum; there was still some left (because it did react!), but it was a bare minimum, without much reacting power – he wasn’t an accomplished yogi, after all, only an apprentice yogi. It would have been entirely different, for instance, and far more serious, for someone who had practiced hatha yoga. But I mean to say that N.S. was here beside me, fully conscious, and could have moved on to another mode of manifestation without having to go through the throes of death – that’s not at all indispensable! Such is my experience, and I find it very important, tremendously important.
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Besides, this is the first time it has happened. All those (like I.B., for example) who were hurled violently out of their bodies through an accident have, after a time, become conscious again – the consciousness gathers itself back together. But N.S.’s consciousness never scattered, he never lost consciousness.
His time had come – the instant the accident happened, I knew it was time for him to leave his body. His time had come, but the circumstances had been arranged (“had been arranged” – you know, I don’t say by whom …), circumstances had been arranged to derive the utmost benefit. This made me understand a lot of things…. Practically speaking, you need a lot of experiences to learn anything.
But to learn, to profit from such experiences, one must already be on the other side. Up to that point [April 13], I had learned plenty of things, but I was learning them from this side of the fence. Now I am on the other side of the fence. Not entirely, but in large part, at least.
Voilà.
So, on with your book. Next time you can read me some of it.
It’s not going fast!
It doesn’t matter. Anyway, what’s fast! To me … look, since April 13, I find people are always in a hurry for nothing. They’re always rushing as if they had a train to catch! But why! … It’s one of the big, big mistakes. Why rush? It’s due to a sort of inner vibration, something that keeps vibrating on and on, spoiling everything.
Everything they do, they do fast, as if something were pushing them – they eat fast, move fast, sleep fast, they wash and dress fast, talk fast. But why? Why be in such a hurry?
I experience this over and over again! And I have to restrain myself from asking, “But what’s the hurry?”
As soon as you stop hurrying, you enter a truer vibration.
See you Saturday, then. Keep it up. It’s very good, much better than you think!
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