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January 4, 1917
LORD, Thou heapest Thy benefits upon me. Now that this being expects nothing, desires nothing from life, life brings to it its most precious treasures, those treasures which men covet. In all the domains of individuality. Thou loadest me with Thy boons, mental, psychical and even material. Thou hast placed me in abundance, and abundance appears to me as natural as poverty, and does not cause me a greater joy; for, often, in poverty, the spiritual life was for me more intense and conscious; but I perceive very well this abundance, and my individual being, whom Thou loadest thus with Thy boons, prostrates itself before Thee with an ineffable gratitude. Page – 269 Thy goodness is without parallel and Thy mercy infinite.
LOVE is nothing else than the tie which unites and holds together all the flowers of Thy divine bouquet. It is a role unobtrusive, modest, not recognised; a role essentially unselfish, which, only in this impersonality, can find all its utility. It is because I become more and more this tie, this link, assembling the scattered fragments of Thy consciousness, and enabling those fragments, by grouping them, to reconstitute better and better Thy consciousness, at once single and multiple, that it has been possible for me to see clearly what love is in the play of the universal forces, what is its place and its mission. It is not an end in itself, but a supreme means. Active, everywhere and between everything, everywhere it is veiled by that very thing which it unites, and which while undergoing its effects, sometimes does not even know of its presence. O Lord, Thy sweetness has entered into my soul, and Thou hast filled all my being with joy. And in this joy I have made to Thee a prayer, so that it may reach up to Thee. Page – 270 January 6, 1917
THOU hast filled my being with an ineffable peace and an unequalled repose…and without any personal thought or will, I let myself be cradled passively by Thy infinity.
January 8, 1917
THOU hast made a silence in my mind and my head; but no voice rises from the depths of^ this silence. Peace alone reigns, a sweet and beneficent guest.
January 10, 1917
IS it then Thy will to teach me that all effort that would have in view my own being as its aim would be vain and useless? Only an action which has :as its motive the raying out of Thy Grace is done with ease and success. When the will puts itself forth for an outward result, then it is powerful and effective; when it puts itself into an inward-going movement, it is without any force or effect…Thus every action undertaken for a personal progress becomes more and more unfruitful, and, in consequence, more and more rare. On the other hand, the outer action appears to Page – 271 gain in effectivity all that the inner has lost. In this way, O Lord, Thou takest the instrument such as it is, and if it must be refined, it will be by the working itself.
MAY the unhappy become happy, the wicked become good and the sick become healthy!" Thus was formulated in me the aspiration about the manifestation of Thy divine Love through this instrument. It was like a demand, a demand which a child «. makes to its father with the certitude that it will be granted. For the certitude was in me when I asked: it appeared to me so simple and so easy, I felt so clearly in me how this is possible. To grow from joy to joy, from beauty to beauty—is it not more natural and also more fruitful than to suffer and labour in a struggle ignorant and reluctantly undergone? If Thou enablest the heart to bloom freely at the touch of Thy divine Love, this transformation is easy and takes place by itself. Wilt Thou not permit this, O Lord, as a token of Thy compassion? It is with the confidence of a child that my heart implores Thee this evening. Page – 272
AND the hours pass away like dreams unlived.
THOU hast filled my being with a love, a beauty and a joy so complete and intense that it has seemed to me impossible that they should remain uncommunicated. It was like a burning hearth from which the breath of thought carried far away the sparks which, in the secret depths of the hearts of men, went to kindle other sparks, the sparks of Thy divine Love, O Lord; of that Love which irresistibly pushes and attracts human beings towards Thee. O my sweet Lord, grant that this may not be merely a vision of my consciousness in its ecstasy, but a reality truly transformative of beings and things! Grant that this love, this beauty and this joy which flood all my being, hardly strong enough to bear their intensity, may likewise flood the consciousness of all those whom I have seen, of all those of whom I have thought and also of all those whom I have neither thought of nor seen… Grant that all may awake to the consciousness of Thy infinite Bliss! O my sweet Lord, fill their hearts with joy, love and beauty. Page – 273
O RADIANT Love who fillest all my being and pourest joy into it, art Thou received, art Thou given? None can say, for Thou receivest Thyself and givest Thyself to Thyself, being at once sovereignly active and receptive in every thing and in every being.
IN the world of forms a lack of Beauty is a fault as great as a lack of Truth in the world of ideas. For Beauty is the homage which Nature renders to the supreme Master of the universe; Beauty is the divine language in the form. A consciousness of the Divine which is not externally translated by an understanding and an expression of Beauty would be an incomplete consciousness. But true Beauty is as difficult to discover, to understand and, above all, to live as any other expression of the Divine; this discovery and this expression demand as much impersonality and abdication of egoism as the discovery of Truth or Bliss. Pure Beauty is universal, and one must be universal in order to see and recognise it. O Lord of Beauty, how many faults I have committed against Thee; how many faults I still commit!… Page – 274 Give me a perfect understanding of Thy Law, so that I may no longer fall short of it. Love would be incomplete without Thee; Thou art one of its most perfect ornaments. Thou art one of its most harmonious smiles. Sometimes I have misunderstood Thy role, but in the depth of my heart I have always loved Thee. And even the most arbitrary, the most radical doctrines have not been able to extinguish the fire of the cult which, since my childhood, I have vowed to Thee. Thou art not what a vain people think of Thee, Thou art not exclusively attached to any particular form of life: it is possible to awaken Thee, to make Thee shine in every form; but for this one must have discovered Thy secret. O Lord of Beauty, give me a perfect understanding of Thy Law, that I may not fail in it and that Thou mayst become in me the harmonious crown of the Lord of Love.
(Communication in dialogue from received during meditation.)
LOOK, thou seest the living form and the three inanimate images. The living form is clad in violet, the other three are made of dust, but whitened and purified. It is in the calm of silence that the living form can, by penetrating in the other three, Page – 275 unite them in order to transform them into a living; and active garment." O Lord, Thou knowest that I am surrendered to- Thee and that my being adheres with a peaceful and profound joy to what Thou givest it! "I know thy adherence, but I would increase thy consciousness, and for that awaken what still sleeps. within thee. Open thy eyes to the Light, and in the clear mirror of thy mind will be reflected what thou hast to know." Lord, all is silent in my being and waits. "Knock at the door of consciousness and it wilt be opened to thee". The river streams limpid and silvery; its uninterrupted flow descends from the sky towards the earth, But what wouldst Thou say to me that I must know? "Thy silence is not yet deep enough: something is. in movement in thy mind, "The fire of the soul has to be seen through the veils of manifestation; but those veils should be clear and precise, like words traced on a luminous screen. And all this should be preserved in the purity of thy heart, as the meadow, sown with seeds, is buried and protected under the snow. "Now that thou hast sown the seeds in the field and traced the signs on the screen, thou canst return- to thy calm silence, thou canst rise into thy calm retreat to be tempered in a deeper and truer consciousness. Thou canst forget thy personality and recover the charm of the universal. Page – 276 "May peace be on thee in these hours of rest, but forget not the reveille which will soon :sound. : "Thou wilt yet smile at thy destiny which speaks to thee. "Thy heart will use the force which comes. "Thou wilt be the woodcutter who binds the faggot. "Thou wilt be the great swan with outspread wings that purifies the eyes with its pearly whiteness and "warms the heart with its white down. "Thou wilt lead them all towards their supreme destiny. "Thou hast seen the hearth and thou hast seen the child. One was attracting the other, and both were content; one, because it burned, and the other because it was warmed. "Thou seest in thy heart this triumphant hearth; thou alone canst carry it without its becoming destructive. If others touched it, they would be consumed. Let them not, therefore, come too close to it. The child has to know that it should not touch the dazzling flame which so attracts it. From a distance it warms the child and illumines its heart; too close, it would reduce it to ashes. "One alone can dwell in this heart without fear; for he is the very ray that has kindled it. He is the salamander that is reborn in the fire. "Another is above, not afraid of any burning: he is the immaculate sphinx, the bird descended from the sky, who knows how to return to it. Page – 277 " One is the Power of realisation. " The other is the Light. "And the third is the Sovereign Consciousness." O Lord, I listen to Thee and I am prostrate at Thy feet. Thou hast opened the door for me; Thou hast opened my eyes, and a little of the night has been illumined.
THERE is a sovereign royalty in taking no thought for oneself. To have needs is to assert a weakness; to claim something proves that we lack what we claim. To desire is to be impotent; it is to recognise our limitations and confess our incapacity to overcome them. If only from the point of view of a legitimate pride, man should be noble enough to renounce desire. How humiliating to ask something for oneself from Life or from the Supreme Consciousness which. animates it! How humiliating for us, how ignorant an offence against Her! For all is within our reach, only the egoistic limits of our being prevent us from enjoying the whole- universe as completely and concretely as we possess our own body and its immediate surroundings. Such also should be our attitude towards the means- of action. Thou who dwellest in my heart and directest everything by Thy supreme Will, saidst to me a year Page – 278 ago to cut off all bridges and fling myself headlong into the Unknown, like Caesar when he crossed the Rubicon: it was the Capitol or the Tarpeian Rock. Thou hidst from my eyes the result of action. Still now Thou keepest it secret; and yet Thou knowest that the equality of my soul remains the same in front of grandeur or misery. It was Thy Will that for me the future should be uncertain, and that I should advance with confidence, without even knowing where the road would lead. It was Thy Will that I should wholly entrust ten Thee all care for my destiny and totally renounce all personal preoccupation. It was, no doubt, because say path must be virgin even to my thought.
EACH time that a heart leaps at the touch of Thy Divine breath, a little more beauty seems to be born upon the earth, the air is embalmed with a sweet perfume, all becomes more friendly. How great is Thy power, O Lord of all existences, that an atom of Thy Joy is sufficient to efface so much darkness, so many sorrows, and a single ray of Thy glory can light up thus the dullest pebble, illumine the blackest consciousness! Thou hast heaped Thy favours upon me. Thou hast unveiled to me many secrets. Thou hast made Page – 297 me taste many unexpected and unhoped for joys, but no grace of Thine can be equal to this Thou grantest to me when a heart leaps at the touch of Thy Divine breath. At these blessed hours all earth sings a hymn of gladness, the grasses shudder with pleasure, the air is vibrant with light, the trees lift towards heaven their most ardent prayer, the chant of the birds becomes a canticle, the waves of the sea billow with love, the smile of children tells of the infinite and the souls of men appear in their eyes. Tell me, wilt Thou grant me the marvellous power to give birth to this dawn in expectant hearts, to awaken the consciousness of men to Thy sublime Presence, and in this bare and sorrowful world awaken a little of Thy true Paradise? What happiness, what riches, what terrestrial powers can equal this. wonderful gift ? O Lord, never have I implored Thee in vain, for that which speaks to Thee is Thyself in me. Drop by drop Thou allowest to fall in a fertilising rain the living and redeeming flame of Thy almighty love. When these drops of eternal light descend softly on our world of obscure ignorance, one would say a rain upon earth of golden stars one by one from a sombre firmament. All kneels in mute devotion before this ever renewed miracle. Page – 280
THOU hast shown to my mute and attentive soul all the splendour of fairy landscapes: the trees en fete and lonely paths which appear to climb up to the sky. But of my destiny Thou hast not spoken. Must it remain so entirely veiled from me? Again and everywhere I see cherry trees. Thou hast put into these flowers magical virtue: they seem to speak of Thy sole Presence; they bring with them the smile of the Divine. My body is at rest and my soul blossoms: what a charm hast Thou put into these trees in bloom? O Japan, it is the rich apparel of thy good will that is in its festival, it is thy purest offering, it is the token of thy fidelity; it is thy way of saying that thou reflectest the sky. And now here is a magnificent country of high pine-covered mountains and valleys in full cultivation. And the little pink roses which this Chinaman brings are they a promise of the near future?
A DEEP concentration seized on me, and I perceived that I was identifying myself with a single cherry-blossom, then through it with all Page – 281 cherry-blossoms, and as I descended deeper in the consciousness, following a stream of bluish force, I became suddenly the cherry-tree itself, stretching towards the sky like so many arms its innumerable branches laden with their sacrifice of flowers. Then I heard distinctly this sentence: "Thus hast Thou made thyself one with the soul of cherry-trees and so Thou canst take note that it is the Divine who makes the offering of this flower- prayer to heaven." . When I had written it, all was effaced; but now the blood of the cherry-tree flows in my veins and with it flows an incomparable peace and force. What difference is there between the human body and the body of a tree? In truth, there is none, the consciousness which animates them is identically the same. Then the cherry-tree whispered in my ear: "It is in the cherry-blossom that lies the remedy for the disorders of the spring."
April 9, 1917
WHEN once the threshold of the kingdom of Thy Omniscience has been crossed, each time that there is a return to the mental world, every thought one has there, seems to be a marvellous and unfathomable problem of which one had never dreamt before. Page – 282 Above, no question arises; in that calm silence all is known from all eternity. Below, all is new, unknown, unexpected. And the two united in a single consciousness give a confident wonder which begets Peace, Light and Joy.
MY heart has fallen asleep, down to the very depths of my being. The whole earth is in a stir and agitation of perpetual change; all life enjoys and suffers, endeavours,. struggles, conquers, is destroyed and formed again. My heart has fallen asleep, down to the very depths of my being. In all these innumerable and manifold elements,. I am the Will that moves, the Thought that acts, the Force that realises, the Matter that is put in motion. My heart has fallen asleep, down to the very depths- of my being. No more personal limits, no more any individual action, no more any separatist concentration creating conflict; nothing but a single and infinite Oneness. My heart has fallen asleep, down to the very depths of my being. Page – 283
O MY divine Master, who hast appeared to me this night in all Thy radiant splendour. Thou canst in an instant make this being perfectly pure, luminous, translucid, conscious. Thou canst liberate it from its last dark spots, free it from its last preferences. Thou canst…but hast Thou not done this tonight when it "was penetrated with Thy divine effluence and Thy ineffable light? It may be… for in me is superhuman strength made all of calm and immensity. Grant that from this summit I may not fall; grant that peace may for ever reign as the master of my being, not only in my depths of which it has long been the sovereign but in the least .of my external activities, in the smallest recesses of my heart and of my action. I salute Thee, O Lord, deliverer of beings! "Lo! here are flowers and benedictions! Here is the smile of divine Love! It is without preferences and Without repulsions… It streams out towards all in a generous flow and never takes back its marvellous .Sifts!" Her arms outstretched in a gesture of ecstasy, the Eternal Mother pours upon the world the unceasing dew of Her purest love. Page – 284
ONE day I wrote: "My heart has fallen asleep, down to the very depths of my being…" Merely asleep? I cannot believe it. I think it is at peace, perhaps for ever. From sleep one awakes, from peace one does not fall back. And since that day I have not noticed any relapse. In place of something very intensely concentrated which was for a long time intermittently tumultuous, an immensity so vast and calm and untroubled has come to fill my being; or rather the being has melted into it; for how could the unlimited be contained in a form? And these great mountains with serene outlines, which I see from my window majestically ranging up to the horizon, are in perfect harmony with the rhythm of this being, filled with an infinite peace. Lord, may it be that Thou hast taken possession of Thy kingdom ? Or rather, of this part of Thy kingdom, for the body is still obscure and ignorant, slow to respond, devoid of plasticity. Will it one day be purified like the rest? And will Thy victory then be complete? It matters little. This instrument is what Thou wouldst have it be and unmixed is its felicity.
THOU hast subjected me to a hard discipline,. rung after rung, I have climbed the ladder Page – 285 which leads to Thee; and, at the summit of the ascent, Thou hast made me taste the perfect joy of identity "with Thee. Then, obedient to Thy command, rung after rung, I have descended to outer activities and external states of consciousness, re-entering into contact with these worlds that I left to discover Thee. And now that I have come back to the bottom of the ladder, all is so dull, so mediocre, so neutral in me and .around me, that I understand no more. What is it then that Thou awaitest from me, and to what use that slow long preparation, if all is to end in a result to which the majority of human beings attain without being subjected to any discipline ? How is it possible that having seen all that I have ;seen, experienced all that I have experienced, after I have been led up even to the most sacred sanctuary of Thy knowledge and communion with Thee, Thou hast made of me so utterly common an instrument in such ordinary circumstances ? In truth, O Lord, Thy ends are unfathomable and pass my understanding. Why, when Thou hast placed in my heart the pure diamond of Thy perfect Felicity, sufferest Thou its surface to reflect the shadows which come from outride, and so leave unsuspected and, it would seem, ineffective, the treasure of Peace Thou hast granted me? Truly all this is a mystery and confounds my understanding. Why, when Thou hast given me this great inner silence, sufferest Thou the tongue to be so active and the thought to be occupied with things so futile? Page – 286 Why?… I could go on questioning indefinitely and, to all likelihood, always in vain. I have only to bow to Thy decree and accept my condition without uttering a word. I am now only a spectator who watches the dragon of the world unrolling its coils without end.
Lord, how many times, weakening in face of Thy command, I have prayed to Thee: "Spare me this calvary of the terrestrial consciousness; let me merge in Thy supreme unity." But my prayer is cowardly, I know it, for it remains fruitless.
I HAVE cried to Thee in my despair, O Lord, and Thou hast answered my call. I have no right to complain of the circumstances of my existence; are they not consonant with what I am? Because Thou ledst me to the threshold of Thy splendour and gavest me the joy of Thy harmony, I thought I had reached the goal; but, in truth. Thou hast regarded Thy instrument in the perfect clarity of Thy light and plunged it back into the crucible of the world that it may be melted anew and purified. Page – 287 In these hours of an extreme and anguished aspiration I see, I feel, myself drawn by Thee with a dizzy rapidity along the road of transformation and my whole being vibrates to a conscious contact with the Infinite. It is so that Thou givest me patience and the strength to surmount this new ordeal.
O LORD, because in an hour of cruel distress I said in the sincerity of my faith: "Thy Will be done," Thou earnest garbed in Thy raiment of glory. At Thy feet I prostrated myself, on Thy breast I found my refuge. Thou hast filled my being with Thy divine light and flooded it with Thy bliss. Thou hast reaffirmed Thy alliance and assured me of Thy constant presence. Thou art the sure friend who never fails, the Power, the Support, the Guide. Thou art the Light which scatters darkness, the Conqueror who assures the victory. Since Thou art there, all has become clear. Agni is rekindled in my fortified heart, and his splendour shines out and sets aglow the atmosphere and purifies it. My love for Thee, compressed so long, has leaped forth again, powerful, sovereign, irresistible—increased tenfold by the ordeal it has undergone. It has found strength in its seclusion, the strength to emerge to the Page – 288 surface of the being, impose itself as master on the entire consciousness, absorb everything in its over- flowing stream. Thou hast said to me: "I have returned to leave thee no more." And, my forehead on the soil, I have received Thy promise. Page – 289 |