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January 15, 1916
O THOU whom I can call my God, Thou who art the personal form of the eternal Transcendent, cause, source and reality of my individual being, who Page – 242 throughout the centuries and the millenniums hast slowly and subtly kneaded this Matter that one day it might consciously be identified with Thee and no longer aught else than Thou; O Thou who hast appeared to me in all Thy divine splendour—this individual being in all its complexity offers itself to Thee in an act of supreme adoration; it aspires in its entirety to be identified with Thee, eternally Thou, merged for ever in Thy reality. But is it ready for that? Is Thy work wholly accomplished? Is there in it no longer any shadow, ignorance or limitation ? Canst Thou at last take definitive possession of it and, in the most sublime, the most integral transformation, extricate it for ever from the world of ignorance and make it live in the world of Truth ? Or rather. Thou art myself divested of all error and limitation. Have I become integrally this true self in every atom of my being? Wilt Thou bring about an overwhelming transformation, or will it still be a slow action in which cell after cell must be torn out from :its darkness and its limits? Thou art the Sovereign ready to take possession of Thy kingdom; dost Thou not find Thy kingdom yet sufficiently ready for Thee to unite it definitively to Thyself and become one body with it? Will the great miracle of the integral Divine Life in the individual be accomplished at last? Page – 243
THOU hast taken entire possession of this miserable instrument, and if it is not yet perfected enough for Thee to complete its transformation, its transmutation. Thou art at work in each one of its cells to knead it, and make it supple and illumine it, and to class, organise and harmonise it in the ensemble of the being. All is in motion, all is changing; Thy divine action makes itself felt as the inexhaustible source of a purifying fire that circulates through all the atoms. And this source has brought into the being an ecstasy more marvellous than all that it has ever felt before. So to Thy action answers the aspiration of that on which Thou art at work, and the aspiration is all the more ardent because the instrument has seen itself as it is, in all its infirmity. O Lord, hasten, I implore Thee, the blessed day when the divine miracle will be accomplished, hasten the day of the realisation of the Divine upon earth!
O DIVINE inhabitant of this gross form, Thou seest that it is a mass of limitations: wilt Thou not break down all these limitations that it may participate in Thy infinity? Thou seest that it is full of obscurities: wilt Thou not dissolve this Page – 244 darkness with Thy resplendent light that it may share in Thy brightness? Thou seest that it is burdened with ignorant impurities: wilt Thou not consume all these impurities with Thy devouring fire of love that the being in its integrality may no longer be anything else than one with Thee in all its consciousness? Findest Thou not that, for the earth and for humanity, this sombre and sorrowful experience of egoistic separativity has lasted long enough? In the world, has not the hour struck for this phase of I development to be replaced by another, dominated by the pure and vast consciousness of Thy Unity? At every moment, without a stop:, my invocation rises towards Thee, and I call Thee: "Lord, Lord, take possession of Thy kingdom, illumine it with Thy eternal Presence, make the cruel error cease in which it lives, thinking itself separate from Thee, whilst, in its reality and essence, it is Thyself. Break, break the last resistances, consume the impurities, strike with Thy thunder this being, if need be, but let it be transfigured!
LONG months have gone by in which nothing could be said, for it was a transitional period of passage from one equilibrium to another, vaster Page – 245 and more complete. The external circumstances Were manifold and novel, as if the being needed to accumulate many perceptions and observations to give a more extensive and more complex base to its experience. But since it was wholly in this experience, it had not the necessary self-withdrawal to see it in its totality and know what it was and, above all, towards what it tended. Suddenly on the fifth June the veil was torn and there was light in my consciousness. When I contemplated Thee under Thy individual form, O Lord of eternity, and implored Thee to take possession of Thy kingdom of the flesh, Thou hast set in motion, in activity, this vital, form which, for the necessity of development and unification, had been living for years in a receptive and harmonious passivity, but as a stranger to all active manifestation of Thy will. This return to activity implied a completely new adaptation of the vital instrument, for its natural tendency is always to engage in action with its old. habits and modes. This period of adaptation was. long, painful, sometimes obscure, although, behind, the perception of Thy Presence and the perfect submission to Thy Law were unchanging and sufficiently strongly conscious, so that no trouble could shake the being. Little by little, the vital being was habituated to find harmony in the most intense action, as it had found if in passive surrender. And once this harmony Page – 246 was sufficiently established, there was light again in all parts of the being, and the consciousness? of what had happened became complete. Now the vital being has recovered in the midst of action the perception of Infinity and Eternity. It can, through all sensations and all forms, perceive Thy supreme Beauty and can live it. Even in its, sensation, extended, active and fully developed, it; can feel the contrary sensations at the same time and always it perceives Thee. It is not unaware, however, that this is only a stage, and it bows down before Thee in deep adoration. to tell Thee: "O Lord, Thou hast again taken up Thy instrument in hand to use it for action. The, instrument is aware of its imperfection and impurity and implores Thy Mercy to perfect and purify it,, so that, from day to day, it may, in a progressive disappearance of all its preferences and limitations, more integrally manifest Thee.
THOU hast made me read over again these child’s prattlings, for they are the awkward attempts expression of a mind still in its early infancy, and 1 this appeared to me to be far, very far away, clad the charm and purity of the experiences of a candid and enthusiastic childhood. And yet before Thee, Page – 247 O eternal Lord, I have not grown older at all and I have not advanced any further: the expression of today would not be superior to that of those earlier times. The mind is as poor and awkward as ever. And what is there so remarkable that it could have to express? There is no sensational experience: all experiences now appear simple and natural. There is no new powerful or exceptional idea, none of those ideas which fill one with the joy of discovery: all ideas, under whatever form they may present themselves, now seem like old acquaintances to whom one makes in passing a friendly salutation, but from whom one expects nothing unforeseen. There is no psychological analysis, scrupulous and detailed, discovering some inner recess still unexplored: the internal complications no longer exist in themselves, they are the faithful and impartial reflections of all the environing psychological movements ; and to describe what passes in the being would be at once complex and monotonous, like a description of the world in its almost exclusively subconscient fumblings and wanderings. Poverty, poverty! Thou hast placed me in a desert, arid and bare, and yet this desert is sweet to me, like all that comes from Thee, O Lord. In this dull and colourless greyness, in this light as of an ashen hue, without brightness, I taste the savour of the infinite spaces; the pure breeze of the ocean, the powerful breath of the free heights ever fill my heart and penetrate into my life; all barriers have fallen, within and around me; and I feel like the bird that opens its wing Page – 248 for an unopposed soar. But the bird remains perched on the rock, its wings unfurled in the grey, cotton-wool sky, pausing to take its flight, for something to happen —something that it awaits without knowing what it is. Having no longer any bonds to enchain its flight, it thinks no more of flying. Conscious of its freedom, it does not enjoy it, and remains like others, among others, perched on the ground in the midst of a sombre and dense mist.
SINCE Thou permittest it, O Lord, I begin again to come to Thee daily, extricating myself for a few short moments from an activity of which I know, even while I do it, the entire relativity. Thou hadst plunged me back into action and into the ordinary consciousness, and now Thou accordest to me the power to resume regularly my flight towards Thee, to soar a little into the immutable Silence and the eternal Consciousness. Thou hast willed, O Lord, that the being should become larger and greater. It could not do so without entering again, at least partially and temporarily, into ignorance and obscurity. It is this ignorance and this obscurity that it has come now to place at Thy feet as the most modest of ordeals. I would not ask Thee to bestow on me as a continual experience the Consciousness which Thou accordest to me in those Page – 249 moments of peaceful and pure communion. I would ask Thee only to make those moments still more peaceful and pure, to fortify and enlighten the consciousness ever more, so that it can return to its daily work with a renewed strength and knowledge. Thou remindest me by these short moments of ecstatic identification that Thou hast already granted to me the power of consciously uniting with Thee. And the divine and musical harmony takes entire possession of the being. But the sounds come together in the head as if behind a veil and no word comes out from the pea today.
THOU hast granted to me the grace of Thy repose in which all individual limits are dissolved and in which one is in all, and still more clearly, all is in oneself. But the mind, immersed in this divine ecstasy, cannot yet find the power to express itself. (Practical notation of the experience) "Turn towards the .earth". The habitual injunction was heard in the silence of the immutable identification. Then the consciousness became that of the One in all. "Everywhere and in all in whom thou canst see the One, will be awakened the consciousness of Page – 250 this identity with the Divine. Look"…It was a Japanese street, brilliantly illuminated with gay lanterns, set out picturesquely with vivid colours. And as whatever was conscious moved forward in the street, the Divine became visible in each and in all. One of the slight houses became transparent, so that one could see a woman seated on a tatami in a sumptuous violet kimono embroidered with gold and vivid colours. The woman was beautiful and must have been between. thirtyfive and forty. She played on a golden samisen. At her feet was a young child. And in the woman also the Divine was visible.
LORD, I could justly say that I have neither Yoga nor virtue, for I am completely divested of that which makes the glory of all those who wish to serve Thee. In appearance my life is the most ordinary and commonplace possible; and inwardly what is it? Nothing but a calm tranquillity without any variation or anything unexpected; the calm of something which is realised and is not sought for any- longer, which no longer expects anything from life and things, which acts without anticipating any profit, knowing perfectly that its action does not in any way belong to it, either in its impulsion or in its result,. which wills, conscious that it is the supreme Will Page – 251 alone that wills in it; a calm wholly made of an incontestable certitude, of an objectless knowledge, of a causeless joy and of a self-existent state of consciousness which no longer belongs to time. It is an immobility which moves in the domain of external life, without, however, belonging to it or seeking to escape from it. I hope for nothing, expect nothing, desire nothing, aspire for nothing and, above all, I am nothing; and yet happiness, a happiness calm and unmixed, a happiness that does not know itself and has no need to look at its existence, has come to inhabit the tabernacle of this body. This happiness is Thou, O Lord, and this calm too is Thou, O Lord, for these are not at all human faculties and the senses of men can neither appreciate nor enjoy them. Thus it is Thou, O Lord, who dwellest in this body, and that is why this corporeal dwelling feels itself so poor and dull for so marvellous an occupant.
SUCH was our conversation this morning, O Lord: Thou hast made the vital being awake with the magic wand of Thy impulsion and Thou saidst to it: "Awake, bend the bow of thy will, for the hour of action will soon come." Suddenly awakened, the vital being rose, stretched itself and shook off the Page – 252 dust of its long torpor; it perceived from the elasticity of its members that it was still vigorous and fit to act. And it was with an ardent faith that it replied to the sovereign call: "Here am I, what demandest Thou of me, O Lord?" But before another word could be uttered, the mind intervened in its turn, and after bowing down before the Master in token of obedience, . thus spoke to him: "Thou knowest, O Lord, that I am surrendered to Thee, and that I try my best to be a faithful and pure intermediary of Thy supreme Will. But when I turn my look towards the earth, I see that man’s field of action, however large it may be, is always terribly restricted. A man, who, in his mind and even in his vital being, is vast like the universe, or at least like the earth, as soon as he begins to act, is shut up within the narrow limits of a material action, very bounded in its field and results. Whether he is the founder of a religion or the author of a political transformation, the man of action becomes a petty, little stone in a general edifice, a grain of sand in the immense dune of human activities. I cannot see any realisable action which is of so great a worth that the whole being should concentrate upon it and make of it its reason of existence. The vital being delights in the adventure: but must it be allowed to throw itself into some lamentable adventure, unworthy of an instrument conscious of Thy Presence? "Fear nothing ", was the reply. " The vital being will not be allowed to set itself in motion, thou wilt not be asked to bring in all the effort of thy organising faculties Page – 253 except when the proposed action will be vast and complex enough for all the qualities of the being to be fully and usefully employed. What this action will be exactly, thou wilt know when it will come to thee. But I warn thee from now, so that thou mayst prepare thyself not to reject it. I warn thee also, as well as the vital being, that the time of a small tranquil, uniform and peaceful life will be over. There will be effort, danger, the unforeseen, insecurity, but also intensity. Thou wert made for this role. After having agreed for long years to forget it completely, because the time had not come and also because thou wert not ready, awake now to the consciousness that it is very truly thy role and that it was for this that thou wert created." The vital being, first, awoke to the consciousness and with the enthusiasm which is natural to it exclaimed, " I am ready, O Lord, Thou canst count upon me." The mind, more feeble and timid, although as docile, added, "What Thou wiliest I too will. Thou knowest well, O Lord, that I belong entirely to Thee. But shall I be able to be at the height of the task, shall I have the power to organise what the vital being has the capacity to realise?" "It is to prepare thee for it that I am working at this moment, it is for this that thou art undergoing a discipline of plasticity and enrichment. Do not worry about anything: power comes with the need. It is not because, at the same time as the vital being, thou hast confined thyself to very small activities when it was useful that it should be so, in order that the things which had to be prepared Page – 254 might have the time to prepare themselves,— it is not that, I say, that can make thee incapable of living outside these smallnesses in a field of action in keeping with thy true stature. I have chosen thee from all eternity to be my exceptional representative upon the earth, not in an invisible and hidden way, but in a way apparent to the eyes of all men. And what thou wert created to be, thou shalt be." As always, O Lord, when the voice of the depths was silent, the sublime and all-powerful benediction enveloped me fully. And for a moment, the Master and the instrument were but one: the One without a second, the Eternal, the Infinite.
IT is long after coming out of contemplation that I get a clear idea of what it has been. Once more this evening I entered into that state in which the consciousness is dispersed in a multitude of diverse elements, individual and collective centres of consciousness, for accomplishing there an action or rather as many actions as these elements permit. By flashes, this or that point appears in a precise manner, then is blotted out to give place to another. Each element of consciousness that acts is clearly conscious of its action, but a consciousness of the Page – 255 whole appears at once impossible on account of the extreme complexity it would entail, and useless for the accomplishment of the work itself.
CERTAIN apparent weaknesses are sometimes more useful for Thy work, O Lord, than too obvious a perfection. A manifested perfection appears to be the appanage only of one who has retired at once from the world and from the work in the world. But for him whom Thou hast chosen as one of Thy workers upon earth, I see very well that certain weaknesses, certain imperfections (provided they are only apparent and not real,) are in Thy eyes more useful,. and, in consequence, more perfect than perfection itself. And to renounce perfection in its apparent form is part of an integral renunciation of the ignorance of the separate self. Is it for this, O Lord, that Thou givest me but rarely the ecstasy of the complete identification and the perfect consciousness? Formerly I was spoiled by Thee. Thou madest me live so constantly in Thy Presence… But now it seems that Thou wishest to teach me how to know an unchanging felicity even in the midst of darkness, and to have no preference between consciousness and inconscience. Page – 256 To be beyond all desires, plunged in the condition of those who live by desire.. .that is strange! But what is most strange, is that it leaves me perfectly calm, peaceful and contented, and that in this darkness I perceive a great power; and that even from the depth of this night the sublime celestial harmonies can also be heard. Each new step into Thy Kingdom, O Lord, is a new cause of wonder.
MY mind has been disquieted at being so constantly turned towards such little things, at moving in so narrow a circle of practical and immediate ideas. It has learned to see Thee in every thing, O Lord, and in the smallest it perceives Thee and delights in Thee. But even while it thus enjoys Thee and recognises Thee in the most futile things and activities as well as in the most vast and noble, it wonders why some prevail over others. Many a time for several months it has tried to react against this tendency, but always in vain. Is it because Thou findest it good that it should be so, or because it is incapable of being otherwise? It put Thee the question, and as always, Thy smile came to comfort it; but the precise reply has not been heard. Page – 357 Now for this mind the least riling becomes an unfathomable mystery, and all is a constantly renewed cause of wonder.
December 14, 1916
I SALUTE Thee, O Lord, and bow down before Thee. But I shall write nothing, for Thou hast just said to me in reply to a question about the present meditation: "We have had a private conversation which even Thy own physical ears must not hear."
DAYS have passed, apparently stormy and troubled, but calm and strong in their reality reflecting Thy divine Will; they have passed, deploying, discovering, developing once more all the unforeseen and varying splendour of Thy tireless divine play. And what a wonder it is to watch it when one perceives the infinite intercrossing of the movements brought into play by Thy eternal Will; when one knows that all this is from all eternity and that it is only in our imperfect faculties that it becomes an uninterrupted succession of facts in which we are the well- intentioned but ignorant agents. We act with the Page – 258 apparent inconscience and blindness of those who do not know, and yet I know, and even while being an agent, I am also a witness. But I am not yet pure enough for Thee to reveal to my eyes the totality of the effects and results; it is only partially and imperfectly that I know them before the act and am allowed to act with the knowledge of the why of it and with a full illumination on what Thou attendest from me. When, O Lord, shall I have that purity? But for this also I have no longer any impatience, and I implore no longer. I see how far Thy splendours are obscured and veiled in this wretched and poor instrument; but Thou knowest why it is so; and Thou makest use also of these shadows and weaknesses for Thy eternal ends. My soul is in prayer and bows down with love before what it can understand and know of Thee. My soul is in prayer and gives itself to Thee in one of those sublime fervours which end in identification. My soul is in prayer…and my body also; and my thought is silent in a mute ecstasy.
(Communication received at 5-3O in the evening after meditation.)
"As you are contemplating me, I shall speak to you this evening. I see in your heart a diamond surrounded with a golden light. It is at once pure and warm, so that it can manifest impersonal love; but why do you let this treasure lie enclosed in this sombre casket lined with an intense purple? The outermost envelope is of a deep blue which is not luminous, a veritable Page – 259 mantle of darkness. One would say that you were afraid of showing your splendour. Learn to radiate and do not fear the storm: the wind carries us far away from the shore but shows us the world. Is it that you would husband your tenderness? But the source of love is infinite. Are you afraid of being: misunderstood? But where have you seen man able to understand the Divine? And if the eternal truth finds in you a means to manifest, what can the rest matter to you? You are like a pilgrim coming out of a sanctuary; standing on the threshold in front of the crowd, he hesitates before revealing his precious. secret, the secret of his supreme discovery. Listen, I too hesitated for days, for I could foresee both my preaching and what would be its result; the imperfection of expression and the still greater imperfection. of understanding. And yet I turned towards the earth and men and I brought to them my message, "Turn towards the earth and men", is this not the command you always hear in your heart—in your heart, for it is that which carries a blessed message for those who are athirst for compassion? Henceforth nothing can attack the diamond. It is unassailable in its perfect constitution, and the soft radiance which shoots from it can change many things in the hearts of men. You doubt your power and are afraid of your ignorance? It is precisely this that covers your power with this dark mantle of starless night. You hesitate and tremble as if on the threshold of a mystery, for, now the mystery of the manifestation appears Page – 260 to you as more terrible and more unfathomable than that of the Eternal Cause. But you must take courage and obey the injunction from the depths. It is I who say it to you, for I know and love you as you knew and loved me before. I have appeared clearly before your eyes, so that you may not doubt my words in the least. And also to your eyes I have shown your heart, so that you may thus see what the supreme Truth has willed and discover in it the law of your being. The thing still appears to you very difficult; a day will come when you will wonder how the truth could seem to you other than what it is." Shakyamuni
LORD, Thou hast spoken to me through the mouth of one of those who have known Thee best, doubtless to make me understand Thy lesson better (was I then deaf to Thy direct suggestion?). And yet even now I do not understand what to do. Thou knowest what would be my happiness if by Thy Grace I could be integrally transformed into a hearth of divine love—that love which is the first and highest manifestation of Thy eternal Truth, that love which is at once the most complete expression of Thy Truth in this world and the most direct path, leading to it the human consciousness, which Page – 261 has lost its way. At the time when I was aspiring, desiring, asking, how many times have I not demanded from Thee the grace of this condition as the most in conformity with my existing ideal of action! And at that time it seemed to me that on the day when I should be purified of all egoistic preference. Thou wouldst choose this individual terrestrial being as an instrument of Thy manifestation of love upon earth. And now that Thou demandest it of me, more than ever I feel my powerlessness. So long I thought I knew what is love, and now that I no longer see anything which cannot be called love, I no longer see anything either which can be specially called love. And how to be that thing which I can no longer define, that state which I can no longer distinguish? And yet Thou madest me see yesterday that I held enclosed in a dark envelope one of the most precious and most powerful of Thy gifts. O Lord, my whole being aspires to obey Thy Voice, to conform to Thy Law, but it does not know in its outer consciousness, it has not understood, what Thou attendest from it. It feels very well that at present its love is a passive state and that Thy will is to bring about its birth into an active state; but how to pass from the one to the other, that escapes it. It knows that this active state of love should be constant and impersonal, that is to say, altogether independent of circumstances and persons, since it cannot and should not be concentrated on any of them in particular; and in that it will resemble the Page – 262 present passive state of love, which is pure, unchanging and impersonal. But what it does not know yet is, even while remaining in its qualities of purity, invariability and impersonality which are now inherent in its being, how to resume its activity? It was for this that this evening I implored Lord Mitra who so perfectly symbolises Thy truth of love, asking him to come to my help for enlightening my ignorance, dissolving my doubts, conquering my hesitation, dissipating the last obstacles and taking possession of this physical instrument, so that it may become what Thou attendest from it. But my words are timid and my voice is unskilled in its utterance, and I do not know if Lord Mitra heard my prayer.
LORD, without letting my mind be aware of what was going to take place and how it would take place. Thou hast made me this evening feel beforehand what Thou attendest from me; feel only, for it is the first, very timid step upon the marvellous way Thou hast half-opened before me. It was like the rising flow which swells a river more and more until it overflows, covering everything with its beneficent waters. And this time it was the heart that thus swelled under the pressure of the powers of Page – 263 love Thou madest flow into it, and the whole being has begun to love, love more and more, without any definite aim, nothing and everything at the same time, that which it knows and that which it knows not, that which it sees and that which it has never seen; and little by little, this potential love has become an effective love, ready to spread over everything and all things in beneficent waves, in an active out- pouring of its rays… It was but a beginning, a very feeble beginning. But I know, O Lord, that it is this Thou wiliest. As always. Thy Will is an infinite Grace which floods the being with its divine delight and transports it above mean contingencies towards the Glory of Thy heavenly abode. ., To be what Thou wiliest is to be divine!
(What I heard in the silence and noted last evening.)
BY renouncing everything, even wisdom and consciousness, thou wert able to prepare thy heart for the role which was assigned to it: apparently the most thankless role, that of the fountain which always lets its waters flow abundantly for all, but towards which no stream can ever remount: it draws its inexhaustible force from the depths and has nothing to expect from outside. But thou feelst already beforehand what sublime felicity accompanies this Page – 264 inexhaustible expansion of love; for love is sufficient unto itself and has no need of any reciprocity; this is true even of individual love, how much more true, then, of divine love which so nobly reflects the infinite! "Be this love in everything and everywhere, ever more widely, ever more intensely, and the whole world will become at once thy work and thy estate, thy field of action and thy conquest. Strive with persistence to throw down the last limits which are but frail barriers before the expansion of the being, to conquer the last obscurities which the illumining Power is already lighting up. Fight that thou mayst conquer and triumph; struggle to surmount all that has been up to this day, to make the new Light emerge, the new example, which the world needs. Fight stubbornly against all obstacles, outer or inner. This is the pearl without price which is proposed for thee to realise."
December 26, 1916
ALWAYS the word Thou makest me hear in the silence is sweet and encouraging, O Lord. But I see not in what this instrument is worthy of the grace Thou accordest to it or how it will have the capacity to realise what Thou attendest from it. All in it appears so small, weak and ordinary, so lacking Page – 265 in intensity and force and amplitude in comparison with what it should be to undertake this overwhelming role. But I know that what the mind thinks is of little importance. The mind itself knows it and, passive, it awaits the working out of Thy decree. Thou biddest me strive without cease, and I could wish to have the indomitable ardour that prevails over every difficulty. But Thou hast put in my heart a peace so smiling that I fear I no longer know even how to strive…Things develop in me, faculties and activities, as flowers bloom, spontaneously and without effort, in a joy to be and a joy to grow, a joy to manifest Thee, whatever the mode of Thy manifestation. If struggle there is, it is so gentle and easy that it can hardly be given the name. But how small is this heart to contain so great a love! and how weak this vital and physical being to carry the power to distribute it! Thus Thou hast placed me on the threshold of the marvellous Way, but will my feet have the strength to advance upon it?… But Thou repliest to me that my movement is to soar and it would be an error to wish to walk… O Lord, how infinite is Thy compassion! Once more Thou hast taken me in Thy omnipotent arms and cradled me on Thy unfathomable heart, and Thy heart said to me, "Torment not thyself at all, be confident like a child: art thou not myself crystallised for my work?" Page – 266
O MY beloved Lord, my heart is bowed before Thee, my arms are stretched towards Thee, imploring Thee to set all this being on fire with Thy sublime love, that it may radiate from there on the world. My heart is wide open in my breast, my heart is open and turned towards Thee, it is open and empty that Thou mayst fill it with Thy divine Love; it is empty of all but Thee and Thy presence fills it through and through and yet leaves it empty, for it can contain also all the infinite variety of the manifested world. O Lord, my arms are outstretched in supplication towards Thee, my heart is wide open before Thee, that Thou mayst make of it a reservoir of Thy infinite love. "Love me in all things, everywhere and in all beings" was Thy reply. I prostrate myself before Thee and ask of Thee to give me that power.
O MY sweet Lord, teach me to be the instrument of Thy Love. Page – 267
WHY, O Lord, does my heart seem to be so cold and dry? I feel, I see my soul live within my being, and my soul sees Thee, recognises and loves Thee in every- thing, in all that is; it is fully conscious of this, and as the outer being is surrendered to it, that being also is conscious; the mind knows and never forgets; the vital being, purified, no longer knows any attractions and repulsions, and more and more it tastes the joy of Thy Presence in all and always. But the heart seems to be asleep in a slumber of exhaustion, and the soul no longer finds in it an activity sufficiently responsive to its impulsion. Why? Was it so poor that the fight has so exhausted it, or so deeply wounded that it is quite anchylosed? And yet it desires to answer the inner call; it wills it with a faith and ardour that have never wavered; but it seems to be like an old man who smiles benevolently at the play of youth but cannot take part in it. And yet it is full of joy and confidence, it overflows with gratitude for all the treasures of affection that nature has generously lavished upon it; and it would, in exchange for all these precious gifts, spread in inexhaustible waves the golden wine of tenderness which revives and fortifies, enlivens and consoles, the true wine of life for all human beings. It would and tries…but how poor is what it does in comparison with what it dreams of doing, how mediocre is what it can do in comparison Page – 268 with what it hopes, for it hopes always. It knows that Thy call is never heard in vain; and it doubts not that it can realise one day the splendours of which Thou hast given it a glimpse. Who will open these flood-gates still closed? My heart loves in a human way, and in that way,. it seems to me, it loves with force, constancy and purity. But it is Thy will that it should love divinely in a limitless deployment of Thy sovereign power; and this is for it still unrealised. Who will open these flood-gates still closed? Page – 269 |