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22 January 1966
I experienced this morning, for two hours, a kind of blissful state in which there was such a clear consciousness that all the forms of life, in all the worlds and at all moments, are the expression of a choice ― one chooses to be like that. It is very difficult to say with words…. The kind of obligation in which one believes oneself to be living, to which one believes oneself to be submitted, had completely disappeared, and it was quite a spontaneous and natural perception that the life upon earth, and the life in other worlds, and all kinds of life upon earth and all kinds of life in other worlds are simply a question of choice: you have chosen to be like that and you choose constantly to be like this or to be like that, or whether it happens like this or it happens like that; and you choose also to believe that you are submitted to a fatality or to a necessity or to a law which compels you ― everything is a question of choice. And there was a feeling of lightness, of freedom, and then a smile for everything. At the same time it gives you a tremendous power. All feeling of compulsion, of necessity ― of fatality still more ― had disappeared completely. All the illnesses, all the happenings, all the dramas, all that: disappeared. And this concrete and so brutal reality of the physical life: gone completely. I lived this state for more than an hour and a half this morning. Afterwards, I was obliged to return … to a state which appears to me artificial, but which is compulsory because of others, by contact with others and with things, and the innumerable quantity of things to be done. But all the same, in the background the experience remains. And there remains a kind of amused smile for all the complications of life ― the state in which one finds oneself has been the fact of a choice, and for the individual the freedom of choice is there, and people have forgotten it. It is this that is so interesting. Page – 30 I saw at the same time the whole tableau of human knowledge (because when those states are there, all human realisations, all human knowledge, come like a panorama before the new state and are put each in its place ― always, always when an experience comes, it is as though retrospective) and I saw all the theories, the beliefs, the philosophies, the way they link themselves with the new state; it was amusing. And that does not call for a rest. These experiences are so concrete, so spontaneous and real (they are not the result of a will, still less of an effort) that they do not call for a rest. But those who managed to have this experience for whatever reason, and who had not a thorough philosophical and mental preparation (the saints or in fact all those who led a spiritual life) had then a very acute impression of the unreality of life and the illusion of life. But it is only a narrow view. It is not that, it is not that. Everything is a choice! Everything, everything. The Lord’s choice, but in us, not there (gesture upward): here. And we do not know it, it is quite within the heart of ourselves. And when we know it, we can choose ― we can choose our choice, it is wonderful. And this sort of fatality and bondage and hardness of existence, all have disappeared. All disappeared. It was light blue, light rose, all luminous and limpid and light. I conceive very well that this is not an absolute thing; it was only a way of being, but a very charming way of being…. Usually those who have not a sufficient intellectual preparation, when they have an experience of this kind, they believe they have caught the sole truth. And then with that, they dogmatise. But I saw quite well that it is not that, it is one way of being, although it is a fine way of being, well, infinitely superior to what we have here. And we can have it here: I have had it. I have had it in an altogether concrete way. And there is always something that is not all right, wrong here or wrong there, or this or that, and then circumstances also that are not all right; Page – 31 always there are difficulties ― all that… that changes colour. And it becomes light, light ― light, supple. All the hardness and stiffness: gone. And the feeling also that if you choose to be like that, you can continue to be like that. And it is true. It is all the wrong habits ― evidently millennial habits upon earth ― all the wrong habits that prevent you. But there is no reason why this should not be a permanent state. Because this changes everything! Everything changes!… It is evident that if one becomes master of that state, one can change all the circumstances around oneself. In recent times (for a rather long time), there was this same difficulty with the body, which is not limited and shut up in a shell as is generally the case, and which receives spontaneously, not even with the feeling of “receiving”, which has the vibrations of all that surrounds it. And then, when all that surrounds it is, from the mental and moral point of view, closed, uncomprehending, it is a little difficult; that is to say, they are elements that come and must be transformed. It is a kind of totality, a very multiple and very unstable totality, representing your field of consciousness and action, and upon which you must work all the time to re-establish a harmony, a minimum of harmony. And when around you something goes “wrong” according to the ordinary idea, it makes the work a little difficult. It is at the same time tenuous and persistent and obstinate. I remember, just before the experience, there was in the body an aspiration for harmony, for light, for a kind of smiling peace. The body aspired above all for a harmony, because of all these things that grind and scrape. And probably the experience has been the result of this aspiration. Only, I have noted that in the life of this body I have never had the same experience twice ― I may have the same kind of experience in a higher degree or in a much vaster degree, but never identically the same. And I do not retain the experience; I am all the while, all the while (gesture forward), all the while Page – 32 on the march. Yes, the work of transformation of the consciousness is so rapid, must be done so quickly that there is no time to enjoy or dwell upon an experience or get some satisfaction in it for any length of time ― it is impossible. It comes forcefully, very forcefully; that is to say, it changes everything. And then something else comes. It is the same with regard to the transformation of the cells. All kinds of small disorders come, but they are visibly, for the consciousness, disorders of transformation; and then one is busy with that point, one wants to re-establish the order. And at the same time there is something that knows pertinently that the disorder has come to make the transition from ordinary automatic functioning to conscious functioning under the direct guidance and the direct influence of the Supreme. And the body itself knows it; all the same it is not amusing to have pain here or pain there, or to have this or that get out of order, but it knows. And when that point has arrived at a certain degree of transformation, one passes on to another point, then another, then yet another; so nothing is done, no work is done definitively until… everything is ready. Then the same work has to be begun again on a higher or vaster level or with greater intensity or more in detail (that depends upon the case), until the whole is brought to a point homogeneous and ready in a similar way. As I see it, it is moving as fast as it can, but it takes a long time. And everything is a question of changing the habit. The entire automatic habit of thousands of years has to be changed into a conscious action directly guided by the supreme Consciousness. One is inclined to say that it is much longer and much more difficult because one is surrounded by people and one acts in the world, but if one were not in such conditions, many things would be forgotten, many. Many things would not be done. There are all kinds of vibrations that have no affinity with this aggregate 1 and which would never have the occasion to
1 Mother is referring to her body. Page – 33 touch the transforming Force if I were not in contact with everyone. It is very evident ― it is very evident ― that one is placed in the best of conditions and has the maximum possibilities for action… when one wants it sincerely. Page – 34
You have heard about those drugs? 1 Have you seen any pictures?… I have. People are thrust without the least defence into the lowest vital, and according to their nature they find it either frightful or marvellous. For example, the cloth covering a cushion or a chair suddenly takes on a wondrous beauty. This lasts for about two or three hours. Naturally, they are completely out of their senses the whole time. And the pity of it is that people call these “spiritual experiences”, and there is nobody to tell them that this has nothing to do with spiritual experience. Some time ago I received a letter from someone who told me he had taken these drugs, and he said he had had terrible visions, that the walls of his room were alive with thousands of evil and desperate faces which persecuted him till nightfall. There you are! And so this gave me yet another proof… I saw pictures in Life – there were some photographs – it was as though you had entered a madhouse. For these are images registered in the subconscient – images of thoughts, images of sensations, images of feelings, registered in the subconscient – which become objective, which come up to the surface and become objective. Thus they give the exact picture of what is within. For instance, if you have the feeling or thought that someone is wicked or ridiculous or does not like you, in short, ideas of this kind – generally all this comes up in dream, but here you are not asleep and you have the dream! – they come to play the game you have thought of; what you have thought of them comes back upon you in their form. So this is an indication: for those who see happy, amiable, beautiful images, this means that within, everything is going on quite well (vitally),
1 Mother is referring to the hallucinogenic drug called LSD, a derivative of lysergic acid. Page – 35 but for those who see terrifying or evil things, or things of that sort, it means that the vital is not pretty.
Yes, but isn’t there an objective vital, where these visions have no relation with our own subconscient?
Yes, there is, but it hasn’t the same character.
Not the same character?
One cannot know it unless one goes into the vital fully conscious – conscious of his own vital and conscious in the vital world as one is conscious in the physical world. One goes there consciously. It is not a dream, it hasn’t the nature of a dream; it is like an activity, an experience, and it is quite different.
But there do exist also these vital worlds where one is persecuted, terrible worlds, worlds of torture and persecution, isn’t it so?
Ninety per cent subjective. Ninety per cent subjective. For more than a year, regularly, every night, at the same hour and in the same way, I used to enter the vital to do some special work there. This was not due to my own will: I was destined to do it. It was something I had to do. Now, for instance, this entry into the vital has been often described: there is a passage where beings are posted to keep you from entering (much has been said about these things in books of occultism). Well, I know by an experience, not casual, but repeated and understood, that this opposition or this malevolence is ninety per cent psychological, in the sense that if you do not anticipate it or fear it, or that there isn’t something in you that fears the unknown nor has all these movements of apprehension and so forth, then it is like a shadow across a picture or the projection of an image: it has no concrete reality. Page – 36 I have had, it is true, one or two real vital battles in going to the rescue of someone who had gone astray. And twice I have received blows, and the next morning when I woke up there was the mark (Mother touches her right eye). Well, in these two cases, I know it was something in me – not any fear, I have never been afraid there, but because I anticipated it. The idea that “this could very well happen” and the fact that I was expecting it, made the blow come. I knew it for certain. And if I had been in what may be called my “normal state”, of inner certitude, this could not have touched me, it could not. And I had had this apprehension because an occultist whom I knew, had lost an eye in a vital fight and she had told me about it; and so (Mother laughs), that gave me the idea that this was possible, because it had happened to her! But when I am in my own state – I cannot even say that, it is not “personal”, it is a way of being – when one is in the true state, when one is a conscious being and has the true way of being, this cannot touch one. It is like the experience of meeting an enemy and wanting to strike him, and then the blows do not go home and all that you do has no effect – it is always subjective. I have had every proof, every proof.
But then, what is objective?
There are worlds, there are beings, there are powers, they have their own existence; but what I mean is that their relation with the human consciousness depends upon this human consciousness for the form they take. It is as with the gods, my child, it is the same thing. All these beings of the Overmind, all these gods, the relation with them, the form of these relations, depend upon the human consciousness. You may be… It has been said, “Men are cattle for the gods”, but if men accept to be cattle. There is in the essence of human nature a sovereignty over all things which is sponta- Page – 37 neous and natural, when it is not falsified by a certain number of ideas and so-called knowledge. One could say that man is the all-powerful master of all the states of being of his nature, but that he has forgotten to be this. His natural state is to be all-powerful – he has forgotten to be this. In this state of forgetfulness, everything becomes concrete, yes, in the sense that one may have a mark left on the eye; it may translate itself like this, but it is because… because one has allowed it to happen. It is the same thing with the gods. They can govern your life and torment you a lot (they can help you a lot also), but their power, in relation to you, to the human being, is the power you give them. This is something I learnt gradually over several years. But now I am sure of it. Naturally, in the evolutionary curve, it was necessary for man to forget his omnipotence, because it had simply puffed him up with pride and vanity, and so had become completely distorted; and he had to be made to feel that many things were stronger and more powerful than he. But essentially this is not true. It is a necessity of the curve of progress, that’s all. Man is potentially a god. He believed himself an actual god. He needed to learn that he was nothing better than a poor little worm crawling on the earth, and so life scraped, scraped, scraped him in every way until he had… not understood, but at least felt a bit. But as soon as he takes the right stand, he knows that he is potentially a god. Only, he must become this, that is, overcome all that is not this. This relationship with the gods is extremely interesting…. As long as man stands dazzled, lost in admiration of the power, beauty, accomplishments of these divine beings, he is their slave. But when these become for him different ways of being of the Supreme and nothing more, and himself yet another way of being of the Supreme, which he must become, then the relation changes and he is no longer their slave – he is not their slave. Page – 38 Then the only objectivity is the Supreme.
There, you have said it, my child. It is this. It is exactly this. If the word “objectivity” is taken to mean “real independent existence”– self-existence, independent and real – there is only the Supreme.
Nevertheless, there is something disquieting about this almost total subjectivity.
Ah, why?
One wonders what is real, what one really comes across? Isn’t everything a tissue of imagination? This is rather disquieting.
But when one has the positive experience of the one and only existence of the Supreme and that all is only the Supreme playing to Himself, instead of being something disquieting or unpleasant or troubling, it is on the contrary a sort of total security. The one reality is the Supreme. And all this is a game He plays to Himself. I find this much more comforting than the opposite view. And after all, this is the only certitude that all this may become something marvellous; otherwise… And this too depends altogether on the stand one takes. A complete identification with the game as a game, as something self-existent and independent, is probably necessary in the beginning, in order to play the game properly. But there’s a moment when one reaches precisely this detachment and so complete a disgust for all the falsehood of existence, that it is no longer tolerable unless one sees it as the inner play of the Lord in Himself, for Himself Page – 39 And then one feels this absolute and perfect freedom which makes the most marvellous possibilities become real, and all the most sublime things imaginable are realisable. (Mother enters into contemplation.)
You will see, there is a moment when one cannot bear oneself or life unless one takes the attitude that it is the Lord who is everything. You see, this Lord, how many things He possesses, He plays with all this – He plays, He plays at changing the positions. And so, when one sees this, this whole, one feels the illimitable marvel, and that all our most wonderful aspirations, all these are quite possible and will even be surpassed. Then one is comforted. Otherwise, existence… it is inconsolable. But like this, it becomes charming. I shall tell you about this one day. When one feels the unreality of life, the unreality of life when compared with a reality which is certainly beyond, above, but at the same time within life, then, at that moment… “Ah, yes, at last this, it is true – at last this, it is true and deserves to be true. This is the realisation of all possible splendours, all possible marvels, yes, of all possible felicities, all possible beauties, yes, this; otherwise… ” I have come to that! And then, I feel as though I still have one foot here, one foot there, which is not a very comfortable position, because… because one would wish that there be nothing but That. The present way of being is a past which truly should no longer be there. While the other: “Ah! At last! At last! It is for this that there is a world.” And everything else remains quite as concrete and real – it does not become hazy! It is just as concrete, just as real, but… but it becomes divine, because… because it is the Divine. It is the Divine who plays. Page – 40 |